Too Much Of A Good Thing
THE YEAR: 2007
THE PLACE: DR. THEODORE SQWINCH'S EXURBAN, RANCH-STYLE HOUSE
**BRRRRRZZZZTTTTZZZZZZZZZZ**
"Hello? Who's there?"
"Dr. Sqwinch?"
"That's me--who are you? What's happening? How did you get in my bedroom?"
"Listen to me, Dr. Sqwinch: I am a time traveler from the future. I've been sent back to stop you from developing your Sqwincher Steady Shot Energy drink."
"My…my whaaa?"
"I don't have time. In two years you will create a formula for a drink that will boost energy without the usual crash."
"I will? I have been tinkering with B-vitamins and orange flavor, but…"
"Yes, you will. And it will banish laziness from the world forever, Dr. Sqwinch."
"But…but that sounds perfect."
"It does, doesn't it? And it did to so many of us. But you can't imagine a life without laziness. No more wearing pajamas until 3pm on Sundays. No more Revenge marathons. No more Reddit. DO YOU HEAR ME, DAMMIT? I SAID NO MORE REDDIT!!"
"I understand. I will cease my research."
"That's not good enough, I'm afraid. I must end you, Dr. Sqwinch."
"But…but…"
"Though now that I mention it, executing you sounds like a lot of work. OH GOD, I'VE BECOME LAZY! I need a Sqwincher, ASAP!"
"They don't exist."
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
Features
When you need a quick boost, Sqwincher is there. Sqwincher Steady Shot products help you stay alert and focused throughout the day, no matter what your activity level is.
- 0 calories - 0 sugar - 0 carbs
- Packed with amino acids and vitamin B
- Recharges your body while giving you energy
- Perfect for carrying with you on the go
- Get energy without crashing several hours later
- Includes (12) 2 fl oz bottles
- Available in three flavors: orange, fruit punch, and berry
Recommended Use: Drink 1/2 bottle for medium energy boost or 1 full bottle for maximum energy boost. Do not drink more than two bottles a day, consumed several hours apart. Use or discard remainder of product 72 hours after opening. Refrigeration is not required.
Shipping Note: Eligible for shipping to all 50 states
Specs
Serving Size | 2 fl oz. |
Servings per Container | 1 |
Calories | 0 |
Total Carbohydrate | 0g |
Sugar | 0g |
Niacin (as niacinamide) | 30mg ~ 150% Daily Value |
Vitamin B6 (as pyridoxine HCI) | 40mg ~ 2000% Daily Value |
Folic Acid | 400mcg ~ 100% Daily Value |
Vitamin B12 (as methylcobalamin) | 250mc ~ 4170% Daily Value |
Taurine | 994mg |
Malic Acid | 300mg |
Glucuronolactone | 200mg |
Natural Caffeine | 170mg |
N-Acetyl-L-Tyrosine | 100mg |
Gingko Biloba | 30mg |
L-Theanine | 25mg |
Citicoline | 1mg |
*Percent Daily Values are based on a 2,000 calorie diet.
Other Ingredients: Filtered water, natural flavors, sucralose, acesulfame potassium, potassium sorbate, sodium benzoate.
Expiration Date: 06/15/13 or later
In the box:
(Your Choice of Flavor)
(12) Sqwincher 200500-OR Steady Shot Energy Drink, 2 fl. oz.
Specs
Serving Size | 2 fl oz. |
Servings per Container | 1 |
Calories | 0 |
Total Carbohydrate | 0g |
Sugar | 0g |
Niacin (as niacinamide) | 30mg ~ 150% Daily Value |
Vitamin B6 (as pyridoxine HCI) | 40mg ~ 2000% Daily Value |
Folic Acid | 400mcg ~ 100% Daily Value |
Vitamin B12 (as methylcobalamin) | 250mc ~ 4170% Daily Value |
Taurine | 994mg |
Malic Acid | 300mg |
Glucuronolactone | 200mg |
Natural Caffeine | 170mg |
N-Acetyl-L-Tyrosine | 100mg |
Gingko Biloba | 30mg |
L-Theanine | 25mg |
Citicoline | 1mg |
*Percent Daily Values are based on a 2,000 calorie diet.
Other Ingredients: Filtered water, natural flavors, sucralose, acesulfame potassium, potassium sorbate, sodium benzoate.
Expiration Date: 06/15/13 or later
In the box:
(Your Choice of Flavor)
(12) Sqwincher 200500-OR Steady Shot Energy Drink, 2 fl. oz.
Sales Stats
- Speed to First Woot:
- 3m 19.332s
Purchaser Experience
Purchaser Seniority
Quantity Breakdown
Percentage of Sales Per Hour
12 | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 |
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