As always, it’s Fantastic Four-themed.

As president of the Fantastic Four Fun Fans Club, I take these summer get-togethers very seriously! I’ve got the fire under the grill ALMOST as hot as Johnny “The Human Torch” Storm’s supernova form, heh! Otherwise, of course, we’d all be destroyed by the unbelievable heat, much like Doctor Doom’s Doombots!

Careful jogging by the pool, guys! That concrete is almost as hard as blue-eyed Ben Grimm’s stony visage! Of course it could never be as strong as the big orange galoot himself; it’d be nigh unbreakable!

What about Mr. Fantastic, you say? Why I haven’t forgotten noble Reed Richards at all! Check out this Voice Alert Cooking Thermometer with Bonus Stainless Steel Probe and 6 Pack of Firewire Flexible Grilling Skewers Bundle! Each of these Firewire skewers is totally flexible, much like ol’ “Stretch” (although I disapprove of such an unprofessional nickname). These skewers are flexible, like the FF’s heroic leader, and this voice alert thermometer is a device so incredible ONLY someone like Reed Richards could’ve dreamed it up!

I can spend my time mingling with the guests, discussing the FF’s most fearsome villains (the world-devouring Galactus, of course), and all the while my trusty thermometer does its job, waiting to alert me when the desired cooking temperature has been reached.

No! No, it’s nothing like that despicable H.E.R.B.I.E.! That useless hunk of scrap metal was no replacement for Johnny Storm and it has no place at this barbecue or on the lips of true FF fans! You shut your filthy mouth!

Sorry, sorry. I get a little testy about that…character. No reason to let it spoil a great BYOBFFBBQ! Let the merriment continue!

Female fans? No. Sadly, the female contingent of our little club is as invisible as Sue Storm. Which isn’t to imply they’re useless at all. Sue Storm doesn’t represent all women, just useless superheroines.

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