Hope you like TVs, because we got ourselves a Sell-Off! Today we’re selling one TV after another, starting with the biggest screens and shrinking down to the little ones. But what on Earth is going on with the writeups?

“Now stand aside, human,” Bradley snarled. “I have no problem with you, but there’s a wife-stealing beta male who needs to be put in his place.” He lunged around Astroblak, slashing the broken bottle at his rival male. Circling, poised and wary, a few feet beyond the jagged glass edge, Roger picked up a hunk of the bar’s shattered MN94034C Vizio VX32L 32” LCD HDTV to use as a weapon – and then thought, Wait a minute – wasn’t this a different TV a minute ago? What did that bartender say?

But before he could figure it out, before Bradley could pounce on Roger, Astroblak shoved the two combatants apart.

“Don’t you gorillas get it?” John Astroblak demanded. “Whatever’s going on here is way bigger than your little beef. Different realities are overlapping. Existence itself has sprung a leak. I knew I heard that name Roger before – and I just figured out where. You’re all characters on that soap opera, Gorilla Hearts. And when I was a kid, my autistic cousin had a snowglobe with these little fairies inside it. Yep, cowboy fairies. Characters, events, artifacts – they’re all turning up where they don’t belong. And I’m one of ‘em.”

“Speaking of that, Mr. Astroblak,” Dana interjected, “I have a friend who would really, really like to meet you. She’s a big fan of your movies.”

“Uh, great, thanks.” My movies? Confused, flattered, and disgusted, Astroblak went on. “Now I don’t know about you all, but I plan to go to bed tonight in my cybercondo in New Detroit, not some ancient Planet of the Apes scene.”

“Hey, don’t forget us,” Dustblossom squeaked from the floor. “We cowboy fairies have been in this since the beginning, too.”

“Damn right,” Astroblak agreed. “Cowboy fairies, lovestruck gorillas, blaxploitation cops in space – we’re all in this. And it’s as plain as a 32”, 720p LCD screen that our only way out is to work together.”

“Give me a break, baldy,” Bradley snorted. “I don’t buy it for a second. I’m just about to get my revenge on the scat-throwing scumbag who stole my wife, and suddenly some detective from the future shows up to stop it? It’s all a plot, a plot to take away my beautiful Dana.”

“Bradley…I don’t want to be with you anymore. I just don’t. I’m…I’m sorry, I…” Dana turned away, choking back tears and emitting the rich jungle musk of sadness.

“But…but can’t we make it work?” Bradley’s voice cracked. “I never meant to drive you away. Whatever I’ve done, whatever has come between us, we can work it out. Please, Dane? Please?”

With a crash, a glass shattered across the heartbroken gorilla’s face. From across the room, Roger gibbered with delight. His throw had been true. Bradley threw Astroblak aside like a beaded curtain and leapt at Roger, murder in his eyes.

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