Our little Gill-Boy is all grown up

Son, I can’t tell you how proud I am at this moment. You studied hard, worked a lot of late nights, and now here you are, the only Gill-Man in this family to ever be accepted into a Surface World college.

The Land Dwellers can be cruel, son, I’m not going to lie. They put a lot of obstacles in the way of people like us. They’ll call you different, they’ll call you weird. They’ll call you names like “Creature” and try to lump you in with those Black Lagoon types. Don’t you pay them any attention. You’ve earned your place in the halls of academia among the Lung Breathers. I know your mother hates when I call them that, but that’s what they are.

And the world above the waves can be harsh for folks like us, as well. The air can be dry and rough against our noble scaled skin. You might even find it tough to breathe sometimes. That’s why your mother and I bought you this Venta-Sonic VS205 Ultrasonic Humidifier as a going away gift.

On those rough days, when you feel a little longing for the reef and sea gardens of home, just flip on this humidifer. The Venta-Sonic’s efficient high-frequency vibration generates a soothing microfine mist that’ll wet your gills. Its quiet operation and automatic humidification intensity and shut off means you don’t have to interrupt your studies to mess with the controls. And when you want to relax, you can change the temperature of the mist to a “warm” setting and remember all those vacations we spent scaring tourists off the coast of Australia. Gosh, you were only eight back then. My little swimmer… Sniffle

No. I told your mother I wouldn’t cry. Son, it’s time for you to swim the Ocean of Life on your own. Show those Dirt Divers what a Gill-Man is made of.

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