We, the denizens of Mother Colander, must prepare for the Great Collapse.

Listen, my fellow Collandians: Our life here has been good. The silicone soil is deep and rich for tilling. The stainless steel base runs like a mighty metallic river through our land. But beware: Our sages have long predicted of a "Great Collapse," in which the very ground itself will heave and roil upon itself.

Yes, yes, ignore the prophecy of this dotty old man. Wrap yourself in the cloak of ignorance and willful optimism! But do so at your own peril! For someday Mother Colander will collapse, and you and your ken shall be destroyed entirely.

Wise as our soothsayers may be, they cannot predict the exact time of the Collapse. Perhaps it will be after The Washing, perhaps before. And, as those steeped in the ancient texts know well, The Washing will be followed by The Desiccation, which will last for --

What's this?? One of the sky gods comes! Oh, take us from this place and ascend our bodies to -- is that pasta?

AAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIGHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIII

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