Bang my head or stub my toe? Whichever gets me the most action.

As I see it, I have two choices here: Rock the headboard (all night long, awww yeahhh!) or a walking cast. Either way, I see a lot of sex in my future.

On the one hand, ain't no ladies nowhere that don't love a man with style. They'll take one look at the hand-tufted buttons on this headboard and be all, "That Brian is so sophisticated, I think I would like to sleep with him."

On the other hand, sympathy vote, anyone? At some point, I'm going to whack a toe on one of the solid wood legs of the storage bench at the food of the foot of the bed. That's just going to happen. But once I'm hobbling around all gimpy and whatnot, the ladies will be all, "Oh poor Brian! I think I'll sleep with him to make him feel better."

The first scenario is fool-proof. And the only possible problem I see with the second is if someone mistakes the storage bench (at the foot of the bed) for a hope chest. That would be weird, right? A 44-year-old man with a hope chest? UNLESS …

I could spin it and say, "I keep this Christmas tree topper in this storage bench (at the foot of the bed) because all my life I've hoped and dreamed that I'd meet an angel just like you, Lisa."

And then she'd be all, "My name isn't Lisa." But it totally wouldn't matter by that point anyway because she'll totally be all turned on by this sexy headboard.

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