Who’s the luggage cat that’s really great at holding clothes but still lightweight? Rolling Duffle! Right on.

“And so anyway, Janet, I told that fella right away, I said ‘Look, I’ve been a front desk check-in attendant for long enough to know that… oh, my! Rolling Duffle!”

Ladies. I’m just going up to my room now.

“What, you know that piece of luggage?”

“Janet, that’s the Sharper Image 24” Rolling Duffle! He’s the baddest piece of luggage the city’s ever bred! Did you know that sturdy ergonomic handle system has custom skate wheels?”

“Mmmm. I could tell that by how he filled that polyester fabric. Whoever he is, he sure looks good in tangerine.”

“Whoever he is? Janet, you’ve never heard of Rolling Duffle?”

“Baby, I’m a busy woman. I can’t keep up with every piece of ultra-lightweight luggage, even if they do have front/side quick access and internal zippered lining.”

“Janet, shah! He’s coming back! In yellow this time! Like Bruce Lee!”

Ladies. Can you point me towards the karate room?

“Yes, sir, Mister Rolling Duffle. It’s to the left, then a right, then the third door on the left after the ice machine. It’s right next door to my room.”

I’ll keep that in mind, dollface.

“Janet! Janet! He called me dollface! I think I’m… I’m gonna… faint…”

“Oh, no you don’t! I ain’t working this front desk alone all night. What’s with you, anyway? You and this duffle have a fling? You in love, girl?”

“In love? Janet, every woman’s in love with Rolling Duffle. He’s the bag that won’t let you down no matter if you’re going abroad or just across the town! He’s got the finest Santoprene zipper pullers and a full TSI branded lining. And they say he can hold your clothes all night, if you understand me!”

“And here he comes now, too. You better check yourself, honeychild, he’s in purple this time. How many clothes this luggage cat got?”

Can one of you fine ladies tell me where the soda machine might be?

“Yes, Mister Rolling Duffle. It’s right beside the pool. I was thinking about taking a swim after work, in fact, so maybe I’ll see you there. I forgot my suit, though. But you wouldn’t peek, would you, Mister Rolling Duffle?”

Stay smooth, baby.

“Janet! Did you hear that! Where’s the phone book, I need to make a waxing appointment.”

“Baby, stop! Baby, baby, stop! Listen! You can’t let no luggage just use you like that! Sure, this Sharper Image 24” Rolling Duffle is really nice, and smooth, and sexy, and has that great voice, but you can’t keep chosen’ him down like this! Listen, let’s you and me go out tonight. You get your best dress on, we’ll hit the bar and find us a couple of real men. Men who… who…”

I’ll be stepping out for a while, ladies. Please leave any messages in my box for when I return.

“Yes… yes sir, Mister Rolling Duffle. And… can I say… you look great in gold.”

Thank you, baby doll.

“What was that you said, Janet? That he was just another piece of luggage? That he couldn’t just use us like that?”

“Shut up and find me his room key.”

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