Like music? Like hands-free phones? Like finding your way around town? The Sanyo Easy Street 4” Portable GPS with Text to Speech can do all this. But we’ve got a little scheme of our own

We’re actually really excited about the Sanyo Easy Street 4” Portable GPS with Text to Speech. The long battery life means you get something like seven hours of use from a charge. The text to speech guidance means the little robot that lives inside will read you the upcoming streets as you approach them. And best of all, the Sanyo Easy Street 4” Portable GPS with Text to Speech supports MP3s, either from the 2GB of internal memory or from an SDHC flash card. So why does this get us all excited? Because we’re about to revolutionize dance music. You and us and the Sanyo Easy Street 4” Portable GPS with Text to Speech.

Step One: Call your local mayor and tell him to evacuate the entire town. Don’t worry, the election’s done, no one will care about the voters now. As soon as you explain it the mayor will be totally into it.

Step Two: Get some mp3s of generic beats and loops. Like, really hard stuff that sounds like gay men throwing trash cans at Donna Summer in a warehouse full of keyboards. Start that playing.

Step Three: Drive to the center of town and then call a female friend with a good voice. Oh, yeah, the Sanyo Easy Street 4” Portable GPS with Text to Speech also allows for hands-free Bluetooth connections to your enabled cell phone. Get her to start talking about anything she wants. She can read recipes or explain how to change the oil on a lawnmower if she wants. She just has to do it in a breathy voice over the phone, so it sounds all weird and sexy and robot like.

Step Four: With the MP3 full blast, the female friend talking, and the town empty, step on the gas and get up to like ninety miles an hour and just blow through the place, fast as you can. The Sanyo Easy Street 4” Portable GPS with Text to Speech should go crazy telling you all the streets you pass, one after the other. Do this for the about the next five hours, non-stop. Turn around and go back the other way if you run out of town.

Sorry, we forgot Step Zero, which was “Record the whole thing”. But make sure you remember to do that, because the recording that comes out of your trip might need a little touch of remixing, but it’ll basically be ready for the white label pressing. And then, we’re famous! Soon, everyone will be talking about the new and innovative sound and asking us to produce their albums. We’ll be on Easy Str- oh, hahahahaha! We just got that! Isn’t that clever?

PS: You can also use the Sanyo Easy Street 4” Portable GPS with Text to Speech for directions and stuff if you’re not into dance music.

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