We’re going to leave it uncleaned.

Hi there, I’m Aldus Black and you’re watching “Decent Meal.” Today we’re looking at everyone’s favorite way to spin meat, the rotisserie. Now a lot of people refer to rotisserie as an actual kitchen implement, like, say, this refurbished Ronco 4000 Standard Size Rotisserie. In fact, though, rotisserie refers to a style of cooking popular since, well, since man discovered fire, probably. To rotisserie is to skewer and hold food on a solid rod while it’s cooked over a fire, or roasted in an oven. The reason it’s so popular is the rotation cooks meat evenly with its own juices. It also makes basting a heck of a lot easier.

So, you want to rotisserie, but you’re not sure where to start. No problem. First, get your handy Ronco Standard Size Rotisserie. Now I really recommend the refurbished model because the skewer tends to have a little flavor already baked in. Now of course you’re going horizontal with this sucker, but first you need to choose what to cook. And really you’ve got a lot of options here: a single kebab, two chickens, even a leg of lamb or an entire turkey will fit in here no problem.

Now you’ve got three functions here, normal which is, well, normal. Cool is all the rotation with none of the heat, erm, use it for keeping food warm before serving. Now sear is just the opposite, no rotation but plenty of heat, so you can sear steaks or put a nice crispy skin on your turkey. Just put the food in, set the automatic timer, and take off. It even comes with an instructional VHS video, which you may need if you can’t handle those three steps.

Of course first, you’ll need a VCR.

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