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We try to tell the truth in these writeups, as much as we can. We don’t want you buying things that you won’t like. So you can believe us when we say that the proprietary speaker connections built into this Pioneer 5.1 Surround Sound System w/1080p Upconvert will make you popular and well loved. Seriously. Because they’re magic.
Now, we’re not sure if the Pioneer 5.1 Surround Sound System w/1080p Upconvert is Traditional English Egyptian Ritual Magick or Ancient Tibetan Buddhist Crystal Magic or New Age Fusion Inco-Californian Dolphin Meditation Majiqs but we know for sure that there has to be some sort of magic involved. Because why else would a company like Pioneer think that proprietary connections would be a good idea? It must be some strict universal requirement that keeps the dark ones trapped in their own dimension, since it’s not like people are always lining up to change speaker standards. Which is sad, because it’s always kind of cool to see a line. Makes you feel like something important is happening.
Anyway, along with the magic, which we are totally 142% sure is in there, the Pioneer 5.1 Surround Sound System w/1080p Upconvert has everything you need to enjoy a quality movie night. The 360 watt 5.1 Surround Sound System has six shielded side cubes and dual center channel speakers. Plug ‘em in to the special connections and you won’t care that your old speakers are now in the garage. Especially not after you summon the extra-dimensional servant MCACC. MCACC will heed your unholy wishes and do your bidding without complaint, assuming your bidding doesn’t extend beyond fine tuning each speaker to the available space via the included microphone. If you’re looking to take revenge on those who have wronged you or gather secrets to crush your enemies, MCACC won’t be able to help with that. Maybe you should just try turning that frown upside down, Nixon.
Once MCACC gets the Pioneer 5.1 Surround Sound System w/1080p Upconvert up and running, you’ll begin enjoying the receiver with built-in DVD player. HDMI upscaling with Digital Audio/Video Out, VCD, CD, CD-R, DVD, DVD-R, DVD+R, and every RW that goes along with that list will be stuffing you full of sound and video. You’ll also be able to plug in USB devices like flash drives, which can make watching DivX files fast and easy. Plus it works with some digital media players, and that means you can finally enjoy your Bobby Beausoleil MP3s in totally sonic comfort.
So trust us. And if you can’t trust us, trust the Mad Arab that sold us all these Pioneer 5.1 Surround Sound Systems. These babies are incomprehensibly good! Just please don’t read the manual aloud. And if you do, for Heaven’s sake, don’t throw anything in the mystic portal that opens when you’re done. The dark ones hate that. They’re very tidy dark ones.
Warranty: 1 Year Pioneer
Features:Pioneer XV-DV385 Specifications:
Video Features:
Audio Features:
Terminals:
Specifications:
Pioneer HTZ-575DV Specifications:
Receiver Dimensions:
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Pioneer HTZ-575DV In the Box:
Pioneer XV-DV385 In the Box:
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