Here’s a number from the classic album “Laundry-Room Ballads and Starch Songs”

There’s a website that I visit for a new deal every day
Where the inventory’s spotty, but the prices are OK
They’ve sold USB hubs, printers, golf clubs, cans of sauerkraut
But they’ve never sold a sweet iron like this one I’m singin’ ‘bout
The sweet iron on Sellout

Well, it’s got this “Auto-Lift” thing that really makes it neat
Just release the handle and before you can say “where’s the feet?”
It just hoists itself up on these little stilt-things that pop out
Making scorch-holes in your clothing one less thing to fret about
The sweet iron on Sellout

Well they call it the Oliso model TG-eight-oh-oh
And its good for different fabrics, steam or dry, high-temp or low
You just fill it up with water, which you pour into its spout
It’s the best iron on this site today, of that there ain’t no doubt
The sweet iron on Sellout

It irons all your shirts and stuff so you won’t look so bad
It’s got automatic shutoff so it won’t burn down your pad
It works vertically for curtains or for smoothing hanging clothes
I have never ironed vertically, so tell me how that goes
Tell me how that goes

But by this same time tomorrow, the Oliso will be gone
So don’t waste too much time wafflin’ about whether you want one
Think how sad you’ll be, just sitting with a stupid, sulky pout
Sayin’ “I wish I’d bought that sweet iron when I saw it on Sellout”
The sweet iron on Sellout

Sweet iron
Sweet iron
Yeah, I wish I’d bought that sweet iron when I saw it on Sellout
The sweet iron on Sellout

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