Digital Keychain that’s for sale on Woot? All I want is to be Nextar you. If you want more details you should just click through. All I want is to be Nextar you.

Sellout.woot is proud to today present the lost poems of Bill “Shakey” Speer, of English descent, raised in Clemmons, North Carolina. Long known as master of the doublewide sonnet, “Shakey”’s passionate writings have shown the glory the common man can bring to language. Here, for the first time ever, we present some of our favorites. This first work is known only as “Sonn It”

Jolene, I do forget you in my brain;
So I got me this fancy type keychain;
It says it got a recharge thang built in;
Ain’t got no dang idea where it plugs in.
Still, I can work the buttons pretty well,
Isn’t no drivers, which is pretty great;
No music player, I don’t want that, hell
I think about you when I check the date.
The screen’s about one inch but I recall
Ya’ll thinkin’ that size pretty close to right;
“Her love for whose dear love I rise and fall”
Wrote that myself for you the other night:
When ya’ll gets back from buying me some ribs
Let’s work at havin’ us a bunch more kids.

Speer proved himself a master of many forms with his later work, “Stopping By Woods Because I Don’t Feel Like Going To Work Today”.

Who’s woods right here? Danged if I know.
I’d like to take a photo, though.
And get you down there in that pond
And drink some beer and well, you know.
If you were Nextar me right now
Girl, I’d be telling you “watch out”
Don’t bother me that farmhouse, if
They wanna watch, hey, come on out,
I’d store them JPGs, BMPs or GIFs
Only like sixty, transfers in a jif
So I can still manage all right
When we get into a another tiff
But call me when it’s late at night
And say it was your fault this time
Get Nextar me and I won’t mind
Get Nextar me and I won’t mind.

Speer’s most innovative work, however, came after this period, and it was an attempt at a sort of warrior-poet haiku cycle.

that photo ‘a you
with them leopard fur pants on
from gradey ation

man’d go to prison
get Nextar woman like that
so thanks for the bail

If you’d like to learn more about the unknown poetry of “Shakey” Speer, visit your local library! They’re probably really worried about cutbacks right now and they’d probably enjoy the traffic.

Back to top