When Bryan Adams sang “Cuts Like A Knife”, we assume he wasn’t talking about these particular knives. Unless whatever romantic ordeal he was singing about really didn’t hurt all that much.

Even the busboys and dishwashers could tell. They whispered it in the alley behind Chez Bourrelet: the great chef, Gaston Omique, has become depressed. Yes, as improbable as it sounds, the master had been distinctly mopey and careless lately, once even forgetting to garnish Chez Bourrelet’s signature stingray bisque with a sprig of dried kelp. When the mistake was pointed out to him by the sous-chef, the great Omique did not thunder and rage and curse and sing, as everyone expected. He merely shrugged, and sighed.

How could he tell them that he had become bored? How could they understand that, having conquered every culinary challenge from durian compote to roasted camel, he felt unbearably aimless and adrift? How could anyone else possibly understand the horror he felt at the prospect of grinding out the same dishes six nights a week for the rest of his life?

Then, late one night, it happened.

Sitting there on the sofa, feeling bloated and queasy, surrounded by crumpled Del Taco wrappers, he flipped to some home-shopping channel. And he was shaken from his stupor.

Even over the TV, he could tell that the MasterChef KA291 Duracut 29pc Cutlery & Kitchen Tool set was what he needed. If he could prepare an edible meal with these shoddy, mediocre knives, now that would be a true accomplishment! With professional-grade cutlery, any fool in a white hat could whip up something decent – only a true master chef could possibly work effectively with these low-quality tools. Here was a challenge worthy of the great Gaston Omique!

After his knife order arrived, he strutted into Chez Bourrelet a changed man, pinching the waitresses and humming snatches of Puccini. He set to work with his new MasterChef KA291 Duracut 29pc Cutlery & Kitchen Tool set with the vigor of a man half his age.

Eight days later, Chez Bourrelet closed amid a torrent of bad reviews. Gaston Omique was last seen working the deep-fryer at a cafeteria in Adrian, Michigan.

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