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Dear Better Business Bureau,
First, let me apologize that this letter has been written in crayon. My mother still believes that I am of an inappropriate age to have access to pencils. I hope this will not inconvenience you.
Secondly, I feel I should introduce myself. My name is Paul. I wish I could tell you my last name but things like that are very hard for a three year old to remember. I write today to offer a complaint against Santa Claus, and I hope my comments are taken seriously and entered into the public record. Quite frankly: Santa has failed to deliver me a promised Kodak ZX1 Bundle.
Imagine my shock when I, as a young filmmaker, had been expecting to find my stocking full of a ZX1 Pocket Video Camera that could easily capture 720p HD video at a 16:9 aspect ratio. Through my comparison shopping, I learned that the ZX1 is resistant to rain, snow and dirt, and also has rubberized doors and a stainless steel panel to make it tough, exactly the kind of thing that might work well in my planned documentary about playground bullies. Additionally, the included carrying case would have made it simple for me to hide the ZX1 from my caregiver, who likely would have confiscated it and imprisoned me for as long as five to fifteen minutes. Even then, though, I would have been able to use the included 2GB SD card to pass the footage across the baby gate to an ally, and reveal my plight to trusted contacts at Amnesty International. I cultivate such relationships, knowing that a documentarian must always be wary of the tyrants who would keep him silenced. But I digress.
Imagine, sir or madam, the shock I felt when, instead of a Kodak ZX1 Bundle, I received an educational DVD on the nature of colors, an admittedly comfortable hat with an elephant in the center, and an orange. An orange! What an insult to my dreams! It was so tragically overstimulating that I broke down in tears and refused to take either juice or chocolate milk from the proffered sippy cup. How could Santa have listened so intently in his little booth at the hardware store, and then failed so spectacularly to deliver? Not even the included wrist strap? I was truly and completely crushed!
Please note me as an unsatisfied customer of Santa Claus. In fact, if I dare to say, I believe myself a victim of an actual fraud. I hope action comes from my suffering to save others from what I have endured in this now-defunct holiday season.
Wishing you an excellent 2010,
Paul (age 3 1/4)
Bundle
Zx1 Camera Front
Zx1 Camera Back
Left Side Input Panel
Right Side SD Slot
Menu and Control Panel
Packaging
Warranty: 1 Year Kodak
Features:
Specifications
Kodak ZX1 Camera
Mini Charger
Batteries:
Memory Card:
In the box:
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