Hey, get that light off me!

“Oh, money! Moneymoneymoneymoney. It feel so nice to roll around on a bed made of all my ill-gotten gains. Ben Franklin, you are the world’s best cuddler.”

“Enjoy your rest while you can, criminal scum.”

“What’s that? Who’s there?”

“It is I, The Shade, defender of the innocent, avenger of those who have been wronged by your ilk.”

“The Shade, eh? Well, come on out and face me like a man! Show yourself!”

“Heh heh. You’d like that wouldn’t you? No, thief, I will stay here in the shadows, using these powers I picked up while traveling through East Asia to cloud men’s mind so that they can not…”

“Oh, hey. There you are.”

“What is this?! How can this be? No man has ever breached my invisibility!”

“Nothin’ too terribly hard to figure out there, Shade. I just followed your voice and shined this Garrity Rechargeable LED Flashlight I keep plugged into the wall for emergencies in that general direction. Mostly, I just keep it there in case the power goes out ‘cause it automatically turns on so’s I can find it, but this works, too, I guess. I don’t know why no one has ever thought of this before.”

“GAH! So bright… can’t escape into the darkness…”

“Nope, and since this here gem provides up to 10 hours of continuous light on a full charge and has LED bulb that never needs replacin’, I’d say you’re not going anywhere any time soon, hero. Hey, Jimmy! Guido! Get in here and get this scumbag, will ya?”

“Impossible! My hypnotic gaze will OW OW OW NOT THE FACE NOT THE FACE.”

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