This Envision H22W 22” Widescreen LCD Monitor wants to help you rebuild your life. Give up those things that are keeping you from your higher self. Accept its healing energy and say “Hey, I’m a child of the universe, I have a right to be here!”

Close your eyes. Relax. Picture yourself enveloped in a ball of white light. Cleansing white light. Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out. Envision yourself taking in the light. Envision yourself transforming. Transforming into the monitor you’ve always meant to be. Envision the Envision H22W 22” Widescreen LCD Monitor.

Now lean back. Trust yourself. You can go 160 degrees along the vertical. Hold that position. Breathe in. Don’t worry about response time. You’ve got 5ms response time, it will take care of itself. Just focus on the ball of white light. Breathe in. Breathe out.No, no, don’t be embarrassed, Todd, that’s natural, it’s just gas escaping the body. Stay with the light.

Move along the horizontal now. 170 degrees. Don’t strain it, just let it happen. That’s it. Smooth and steady, 170 degrees. Can you feel the anti-glare treatment keeping you fresh and shiny? Tell yourself “I am Energy Star compliant”. Tell yourself “I am VESA 100mm wall mount compliant”. Let the world see your six million colors.

Take another deep breath. Feel the light going through every part of you. You are just the power cord, you are just the VGA cable. Everything passes through you, from a greater power to the world. Show it in 1680×1050. Let yourself shimmer.

Keep your eyes on the light. Feel it all around you. Now let go, and feel it rise, rising, rising, taking away all your troubles and sadness. Rising, rising, you’re just a Envision H22W 22” Widescreen LCD Monitor now, no pain, no worries, rising, rising… and it’s gone. Okay, let’s just sit for a minute. Everybody feel okay? Jasmine, you look a little frazzled!

Um, Todd, that shouldn’t still be happening. You might want to change your diet or talk to a doctor or something. Can someone open a window?

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