Ned Land? He was all right. But if you really want to overpower a squid, you want an Electro Man Power Strip on your side.

I have said that the man who designed my home had carefully provided my outlets of a most prestigious nature. Possessed we were of power to every known option, from where a television would seem likely to the ideal place in which a table lamp might go, perhaps even the very sort of lamp my wife had seen and enjoyed in the great Exhibition on 1997. We purchased it then; it was precious to us because of the rare Boba Fett drawing on the shade. And so we were pleased with the most fortunate location in which it could be easily seen from the driveway by guests no further than 33 steps or 22 seconds from the door.

Thus, our living space wanted for no means of empowerment. And what’s more, it boasted the Electro Man Power Strip, prince of unregulated electricity.

The Electro Man Power Strip was not a surge protector, no. He was no upper class decider of levels and taste. Rather he was a simple soul, moving the power from one place to the next. Some perhaps would look down on him for that, though not I. For this Electro Man Power Strip was uncommonly possessed and passionate about his work, and he had a taste for tales. Many were the boring Sundays I would pass in his company. He would cross his arms and legs so that I would be staring at his four three-pronged outlets and he would tell me of the monsters, all the monsters, from the smallest, with a horn that could split wood, to the greatest monster, who had risen from the deep with tentacles flailing, no purpose but to smash his Captain’s steamship to bits.

“Surely, my friend,” I interrupted one day without thinking. “Surely a power strip such as yourself, a strip with great character but no surge protecting abilities, surely your worth would be less than that of a mighty PowerSquid, would it not?”

The Electro Man Power Strip stared at me then, and I saw in his eyes the will that would cower even Leviathan. Behind that green light indicating that power was running to his arms and legs, there was a primal madness, an indescribable humanity that would never, could never surrender itself to a simple beast. I could see in his face the many squids that had fallen at his hands, and I was left speechless and sorry. And then, in an instant it faded, and he clapped me on the shoulder with a laugh!

“My dearest friend,” said the Electro Man Power Strip, “You are clearly not a man used to such a compliment of whiskey as this!” And he struck my glass with his and there was such an echo! And so, the question was forgotten for all time. But I still awake with sweat against my brow when I dream of the power he displayed before me that day, and never again would I question if the Electro Man Power Strip would be a worthwhile four-outlet extension cord for the home, office or travels.

Indeed, if ever a power-strip could charge the mighty Captain Nemo, it would be the Electro Man Power Strip. But perhaps that is a tale for another time…

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