A showerhead with thirty settings will allow you to do what showerheads are designed to do. Specifically, imagine yourself a mighty storm god judging the bubble people below.

DOOT doo dootdoot DOOT doo dootdoot DOOT doo dootdoot DOOT doo Behold, lowly bubble people! It is I, the Lord Of Rain, here to aim my mighty 30 Setting Showerhead in your direction! None shall survive what I shall refer to as my "wet wedding" for reasons that I won't explain in case anyone is waiting to marathon the season on Netflix! PSSSST PSSSSSSST taste the powerful streams PSSST PSSSSSST!

You there, sud of the East! I imagine you a butcher's boy, brought up to serve chops and loins, now chopping loins on the battlefield for your king! And yet, with a twist, I spray my powerful blast of water and pop your surface tension and send you down the drain! PSSSST! Hahahaha! Lord Of Rain!

And you, sweet Lady Sudsa. Once you dreamed of being highborn. Now, you are trapped in a ring of soap guards, like a bird in a cage. Here! I free you! PSSSST! And now, I break your heart by SPRAYING WATER ACROSS YOUR HOMELAND AND SENDING IT DOWN THE DRAIN! AHAHAHAHA! FEAR THE LORD OF RAIN, MY LADY! FEAR HIM!

George? Can you keep it down in the shower, honey? Please?

YES, MOTHER! You are lucky today, my suds. But let vigilance be your watchword. For tomorrow, there will be another shower. And then, my soapy friends, there may be no one to defend you.

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