Hello? Is this the Customer Service Helpline? How does this vacuum handle, say, "chunks?"

"I'm sorry, sir?"

I'm just on the fence about pulling the trigger on this Bissell Garage Pro Wet/Dry Vacuum. I have some specific jobs in mind for it, or rather one job repeatedly, and I want to make sure it's the right vacuum for the job.

"Oh, okay, well it's made for cleaning up your car, your garage, or your workshop so it can handle just about any wet or dry debris-"

Right, but would it handle a particularly wet job?

"What, like water?"

Eh, sort of. Roughly 80% water I think, if the number I've heard is right. But more viscous. And red.

"I think you'd be fine."

Great, great. Okay. But what if there's some solid stuff in there too?

"Uh, I think that'd be fine."

I'm talking sizable chunks, though. Like, oh, I don't know, this is completely hypothetical but what about something the size of a human liver?

"I'm not sure how big livers are, sir, but-"

They're pretty big.

"Yeah, I'm not sure about the specifics of vacuuming up a liver-"

I'm not saying I'm vacuuming up livers, certainly not on a call that may be recorded or monitored for quality assurance. I'm just using it as a point of reference.

"Sir, I'm going to have to transfer you to a supervisor to answer your questions."

No no! Not necessary! Nevermind! I'll just buy one and figure it out myself!

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