If you’re looking to consolidate your power, a Belkin Sansa Charging Kit is just the thing. You can charge your Sansa from your car, AC outlet or USB slot. Never be powerless again!

Good morning! You’ve Had A Visit From A Specially Trained Agent!
The purpose of this visit was:

[ ] Surrender or die!
[x] Welcome to the fold!
[x] Sorry we missed you!
[ ] Where’s the data disc, Gemini?

Please read the attached document for more specific details.

Hello, NAME OF ALLY HERE. We’re so happy that you’ve chosen to work with “The Company” in your attempt to remove the TYPE OF REBELLION. We’ve left this manual on your PIECE OF BEDROOM FURNITURE in the night in an attempt to help you facilitate a smooth transfer of power. You were sleeping so peacefully, and our ninja didn’t want to wake you. Please note we’ve assigned your case to a special operative, Code Named: Belkin Sansa Charging Kit.

As you have likely noticed, REBEL LEADER WITH AN ANIMAL NICKNAME has refused to accept your absolute authority. Code Named: Belkin Sansa Charging Kit will assist you in your attempt to regain control of the LOCAL SAINT mountainous region. Code Named: Belkin Sansa Charging Kit has experience in forcing an external device, such as a Sansa c200, e200, View, Connect or Sansa Fuse, to accept the legitimate governmental power which comes from an AC outlet or car cigarette lighter port. Code Named: Belkin Sansa Charging Kit also includes a 30 pin USB cable which can assist HEAD OF MILITARY IF DIFFERENT FROM ALLY in using other sources of power, such as a laptop, computer or FAVORED MERCENARY UNIT.

Rest assured that Code Named: Belkin Sansa Charging Kit is your best solution to forcing a smooth transfer of power, and will at all times assist in your attempt to maintain control of COUNTRY’S NAME. If you have any further questions, please visit our official offices in the back corner of LOCAL BAR OR STRIP CLUB. And welcome to the global arena!

[x] Great to have you on the team,
[x] Sincerely,
[ ] Your days are numbered thanks to our deadly satellite,
[ ] I mean it, Gemini, where’s the disc,

“The Company”

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