STOP. Be sure to read the instructions before you purchase one of these 250 Movie DVD Sets.

Deciding what to watch is hard. Deciding what to watch 250 times in a row? Forget about it! How can you choose between genres like Horror, Mystery, Western or Family on your own? That’s why we’ve had our professional team of movie picking experts prepare this short quiz to help you decide which of the four 250 Movies DVD Sets is best for you. Get a sheet of paper and a pencil. You’ll have twenty minutes to complete the test. The answer key is at the end. Are you ready? Begin… now!

Question One: If you were looking for a movie that you could watch before Labor Day, what would you choose?

A) White Zombie, 1932, starring Bela Lugosi, and a favorite of rocker Rob Zombie.
B) The White Orchid, 1954, in which an archeologist explores the mystery of an ancient Toltec civilization. This could be the world’s only Toltec movie!
C) White Comanche, 1968, featuring a young William Shatner as, well, a white Comanche.
D) The Scarlet Letter, 1934, an all-ages classic that is entirely about adultery.

Question Two: If you’re trying to win an argument about the way classic Hollywood treated minority actors, what movie would you choose in order to best make your point?

A) Chloe, Love Is Calling You, 1934, the story of a bi-racial young woman raised by a voodoo priestess in New Orleans.
B) Funeral For An Assassin, 1977, in which white assassin Vic Morrow disguises himself as a black South African in order to escape the police.
C) Harlem Rides The Range, 1939, probably the only all African-American western ever made.
D) The Black Pirate, 1926, in which Douglas Fairbanks joins up with the pirates who killed his father to take a slow revenge.

Question Three: You feel like watching an uplifting movie about war. Which movie suits you best?

A) Revolt of the Zombies, 1936, in which a World War I expedition stops a the creation of a zombie army in Cambodia.
B) Sherlock Holmes and the Secret Weapon, 1943, in which Holmes and Watson fight to rescue a World War II scientist before the Nazis can get him.
C) Southward Ho, 1939, featuring Roy Rogers as a Civil War soldier trying to save his ranch from a Union captain he “argued with” during the war. Really. It says “argued with” right in the official summary. God bless ‘em.
D) David & Golliath, 1960, in which Orson Welles plays King Saul, a leader who finds that a young shepherd boy might be his army’s only hope.

Question Four: If you want to watch a movie featuring a baker, what might you pick?

A) Kiss Me, Kill Me, 1971, in which pretty photographer Carroll Baker is seduced by a strange woman named Baba Yaga.
B) Mitchell, 1975, featuring Joe Don Baker as a sloppy cop who gets results.
C) Curse Of Demon Mountain, 1977, featuring Joe Don Baker as the leader of a band of Civil War soldiers attempting to find a cave full of diamonds.
D) Dora’s Dunkin’ Donuts, 1933, starring Shirley Temple as a little girl who helps a single schoolteacher fall in love with the local donut baker. Choke on it, Nora Ephron.

Finally, Question Five: Which of these four films best captures the glory of the 80s?

A) First Spaceship on Venus, 1960, set in an alternate 1985 where a strange memory storage device leads our nuclear powered spacecraft to Venus. Oddly, there’s no mention of Miami Vice.
B) Night of the Sharks, 1987, where a diver with a stolen floppy disc has to overcome a vicious shark that guards a hidden treasure. See, 1960 filmmakers? That’s how you do it.
C) Savage Journey, 1983, a history of the origins of the Mormon Church featuring the guy who played Bull on Night Court. No lie.
D) The Pride of Jesse Hallam, 1981, in which the legendary Johnny Cash plays an old mine worker who has to take care of his ailing daughter… by learning to read. Awww.

So how’d you do? Get ready, because here’s what your score means.

If you answered mostly A: you’re a forward thinker. You live in the future, specifically the sort of future dreamed up by the past. You’re after the 250 Horror Movies collection. This set covers everything from Prehistoric Women to Buck Rogers: Planet Outlaws and it’s full of classics, not to mention “classics”. Here, take a look at the title list yourself!

If you answered mostly B: you’re a problem solver. You like to puzzle things out yourself. You want the 250 Mystery Movies collection. From the silent 1920s version of Last of the Mohicans to the 1992 Rutger-Hauer-needs-a-rent-check thriller Beyond Justice, you’ll be thrilled and challenged. Well, okay, thrilled. Take a look at the title list right now!

If you answered mostly C: we’re betting you’re a hero. You don’t take orders. You do what you know is right, even when you stand alone. You’re a cowboy. You’re gonna buy the 250 Western Movies no matter what we say. And it’s a good idea, too, because you’ll be getting stars like John Wayne, Roy Rogers, Gene Autry, Tex Ritter, Bob Steele, and more. Here it is in black and white if our word ain’t good enough for ya.

If you answered mostly D: you’ve got kids. Or you’re going to have kids. Or you want something to show the kids who break into your house while you’re at work. You dream about the old fashioned days when things were nice. You want the 250 Family DVDs. You’ll get slapstick, drama, romance, award winning comedies and even a little Shakespeare. Take a good look at the title list and you’ll see. Nothing too challenging here! Just an enjoyable way to relax.

Now what do you do if you fall right in the middle? That’s easy. Consider buying more than one set! Because with 250 movies per collection, there has to be something you’ll like! If nothing else, call your sarcastic friends, and you’ve got a great party idea. Satellite not included.

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