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I know it’s cold outside, but is it so cold that you would rather feel a chill on your earlobe than listen to me recite these odes that I have written to you? I compare you to a tree in one of them, and a shrub in another, and there are several that don’t involve plants at all, if that’s what you’re into. So please, take off your 180s Ear Warmers so you can listen.
Don’t think of this thing on which we sit as a park bench; think of it as a pedestal. And don’t think of this moisture pitter-pattering against our faces as a cold rain; think of it as a shower of refreshing love. And don’t think of what your teeth are doing as chattering; imagine they’re eating invisible Saltines or something. But please, whatever you do, take off those Ear Warmers and hear all of the beautiful things I have to say.
No, Lorraine, I refuse to listen to you when you say you can hear me. Yes, I understand that by saying this you are, in fact, responding to me. But that does not necessarily mean you can hear me. No, there is a simple explanation for this: you’ve grown accustomed to the gestures I traditionally use when asking you to take off your 180s Ear Warmers, and so have deduced my meaning from my body language, like the part where I point angrily at your ears, or where your ears are reputed to be in hiding.
Ah, thank you, Lorraine, for removing them at last. You’ve shown yourself to be true to me. Now, I’ll read to you from the notebook of sonnets I’ve written in your honor! But first, mind if I put those on my ears? I mean, I wrote the stuff after all; it’s not like I need to hear what I’m saying or anything.
Tahoe - Black 2-Pack
Tahoe - Snow 2-Pack
Warranty: 90 Day Woot Limited Warranty
Condition: New
Features:
180s Men’s Ear Warmers
180s Women’s Ear Warmers
Tahoe:
How to Use:
Sizing Information
In the box:
Choose whether these are for HIM or for HER, then choose the STYLE, then choose the COLOR, and then expect to get 2 of the exact same. You know, one for you and one for your evil twin.
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