General, I’ve got bad news. Our radar shows the wine is still approaching.

“But that’s impossible! We sent a missle right into the heart of it! You mean to tell me that the wine survived the blast?”

I’m afraid so, sir. And now it’s coming faster than before.

“Well, I guess that about does it. Soon, the wine will come crashing through the tunnel, flooding the entire city. We’ve had a good run haven’t we, Johnson? Gather the men, please.”

What should I tell them, sir?

“Tell them I’d like to thank them for their efforts. We’ll raise our glasses one last time before we go quietly into the night. I’ve got just the thing too: this well-aged bottle of fine whiskey.”

What’s that in the top, sir?

“Oh, just a cordless Vintage Vac Wine Sealer. I was saving this bottle for a special occasion, but I just had to know if it was any good. So I popped it open and poured myself a glass. It really is wonderful!”

But go back a step. Did you say, Vintage Vac Wine Sealer?

“Yes, but it doesn’t just work for wine. Its automatic vacuum pump works on a variety of different bottles, providing a vacuum seal that reduces oxidation and spoilage, thus protecting the flavor with no handpump necessary. And what’s more, it’s got an LED indicator that lets you know if air is leaving the bottle.”

But you’re saying that this technology is primarily used to stop wine?

“Well yes, but in my case… By god! You don’t think we could…”

I do, sir! I do!

“Here, give this to Professor Prile! Tell him we need him and his men to build us another one. But this one needs to be big!”

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