Legless reptiles will have to find something else for their fitness needs.

“Aaaah, sssweet. My Sssstriiv Ssssmart Pedometer hasss arrived. I’ll ssssimply attach it to my perssson and - “

“BLEEP BLORP. THIS IS YOUR NEW PEDOMETER SPEAKING.”

“What? How? I didn’t even realissse that wasss a feature.”

"I MUST MAKE AN EXCEPTION IN THIS CASE."

"Exsssplain why."

"YOU ARE MERELY A COPPERHEAD SNAKE. YOU LACK LEGS. HALF OF THE NEAT STUFF I CAN DO IS LOST ON YOU."

"But I’m trying to losssse weight."

"DON’T CARE. I’M DESIGNED FOR PEOPLE."

"Have you sssseeen thessse thighsss?"

"YOU’RE DELUDING YOURSELF BUDDY. STOP LIVING A LIE. I DON’T EVEN KNOW HOW YOU FOUND THIS PEDOMETER."

"I sssstole it."

"VIPER?"

"No, it wassss a Ford Essscort."

No longer must you count steps in your head all day! You can use your brain for other stuff at last! Why the heck were you doing that, anyway?

continue reading

Striiv Smart Pedometer/Tracker

Striiv Smart Pedometer/Tracker
$19.99 In Stock Sporting Goods
$19.99 USD false 1 Retail EA
1 3
Woot! Sellout.Woot
4121 International Pkwy Carollton TX 75007 U.S.A.