Hey, Sonny, did you order something? This package seems a little fishy to me.

Whadda ya mean “open it?” You open it. I’m still trying to get Lucas to pick up his stupid phone so we can coordinate tonight’s guild war. I’m telling you, if we gotta go into battle without one of our most powerful clerics, I’m gonna be putting him up for expulsion, you hear me? I don’t care how long he’s been with us, if he misses out on this, he’s dead to me.

No, the package doesn’t have your name on it, Sonny. That’s what I’m trying to tell you, I don’t like it. Seems weird to get a delivery this time of night that isn’t pizza. Fine then, I’ll open it, I’ll open it. Geez, could you be any lazier or…

Oh. Oh crap. Sonny, you better log out and see this.

Yeah, that’s the flannel shirt Lucas is always wearing. And do you see what’s wrapped in it? It’s his Razer TRON Gaming Mouse, Sonny, the same one he games with. I’m sure, Sonny. Look, it’s got the seven hyperesponse buttons, seven-foot braided USB cable, 5600dpi Razer Precision 3.5g Laser Sensor, the whole bit. I bet if you plugged it into your computer right now it’d even light up and make those TRON sounds he likes so much. “Liked,” I mean. We should probably start referring to him in the past tense now.

Don’t you see? It’s a message, Sonny. It means Lucas Bratzy respawns with the n00bs.

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