I’ll never forget the moment we laid eyes on each other, LeAnne. Probably because I’m projecting it, on a repeating loop, onto my wall.

When I close my eyes I can see you in that crowded coffee shop on that fateful morning. But I don’t really need to close my eyes, because there’s the real scene of us playing out on my living room wall. It looks like all those years of contracting my own private cameramen finally paid off. My close friends said it never would, and now they have been proven wrong. Now, I have made love at first sight into moving wall-art, LeAnne. And it is more beautiful than any painting or photograph I could ever hope for!

Yes, right there, I can see the look on your face. You’ve just noticed me and you’re thinking, “There is the man, my man. We have yet to meet but I know we will spend our lives together.” It’s a subtle twinkle in your eye, but it’s easy to see on the 300”, 1080p quality screen that my Optoma Home Theater Projector makes possible.

You are still, looking at me but only for a moment, though, before I notice you and call out to you. “Hey you!” I say. “Hey, the girl in the purple cardigan! The pretty one! Get over here!” My brash, unrefined nature draws you towards me! I’m watching you make your way across through the coffee shop now, and I’m wishing it were real, and not just an image from a spinning disc coming through an Optoma projector.

Ah, reliving it once again, it seems like just yesterday. Which is odd, because it happened this very morning, LeAnne. Perhaps my perception of time has been thrown off by watching a giant image of myself for six hours straight. But is that typical of love? Dizziness?

At any rate, I just wanted to say, thank you for coming into my life, and giving me your affection. And your phone number. Also, please call me back whenever you get this. I’d love to have the real, non-video you over for dinner some time.

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