Corporate? Hey, this Microsoft Notebook Cooling Base is as punk as it gets!

Yeah, I’m Todd Baze, the inventor of the Microsoft Notebook Cooling Base. Sure, I licensed it! Just like the Sex Pistols signed to EMI! But they get a pass, and everybody calls me a sell out? Pfft. I figure it has something to do with the British press and how they don’t want an American ruining their little Euro-party.

But no fooling, it was me who came up with this thing. I was squatting over on Bond Street, near CBGB’s, and I was trying to read a copy of Creem and they’d refer to some old record I’d want to hear, and I remember thinking “This would be so much easier if it was all in one place, where I could do a thing I’d call downloading.” And then I thought “But I bet something like that would get hot on the bottom, so I’d need a way to draw heat away while still allowing for height adjustment, and also lap or desk use.” And so I borrow some lipstick from a guy I knew and drew out the plans, right there on the sidewalk. It’d still be there if it wasn’t for Bloomberg and his time-traveling weather machine sending back a storm to wash it off the ground the very next day.

But I’m telling you, the Microsoft Notebook Cooling Base is all me! All of it! Well, except for the cable management clip, that was Elvis Costello’s idea. Let me tell you, he’s a guy who could have gone really far in the technology accessory business if he’d applied himself. Hey, you got any change? No? Okay, well, I’ll be here in a few hours if you find any.

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