Well, Mr. Browning, I’m afraid I’m going to have to call in the big guns for this root canal. Now, say “Ahhhhhh!”

Ha ha! Just kidding, Mr. Browning. Oh, I just love a little dental humor when I’ve got a patient prepped for a procedure, don’t you? I figured since you were a friend of my wife and everything, you’d get a kick out of it. She told me you are quite the jokester while you’re both away on all those business trips the company seems to send on so very often. Yep, quite the funny guy.

Naturally, I would never dream of using this Hitachi 18 Volt 1/2” Ni-Cd Cordless Driver Drill on those precious pearly whites, of course. But, boy, you should’ve seen the way your eyes bulged when I pulled it out! I think you actually thought I’d do it! Did you? VRRREEMMMM! HUH? VRRREEEMMMM! VRRREEEEEEEMMMMMM! I ASKED YOU A QUESTION! VRREM VRREM VRRRRREEEEEMMMMM! ANSWER ME NOW NOW DO IT NOW! VRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEMMMMMM!

Oh, I’m just messing with you, Mr. Browning. You can stop with the horror-filled eyes routine. Putting this drill anywhere near your mouth would be way against regulation. After all, what could I possibly need 400 in-lbs of turning torque for in this setting? I just want to get to the pulpy bits inside your teeth, not wrench them out one by one as you screamed in agony! Heck, you’ll probably scream anyway, ha ha! And besides, the seven piece BlackGold Shield bit set that came with it isn’t made for oral health at all. No, I’d only use these if I wanted to, I don’t know, inflict an incredible amount of pain and damage to someone’s jaw, especially if that someone were getting a little too chummy with a loved one or spouse.

Still, if I did have to use this in someone’s mouth, say yours, for instance, I bet that someone would be pretty happy about the non-slip ergonomic grip! Probably wouldn’t be so happy about the 2-speed transmission or 22+1 stage clutch settings. And with two 18v batteries included, I could charge one while I shatter each and every tooth in your skull. Theoretically, of course. I am a professional, of course. The only reason I would possibly want to do something like that to you, Mr. Browning, is if I had found out you had been having an affair with my wife when she confessed everything to me over breakfast this morning. Then I honestly just don’t know WHAT I’d do.

You know, I think the best thing for us to do is to go ahead and knock you right out before your root canal procedure, don’t you think? Yes, it would definitely be best. Keeps the screaming down to a minimum, you see.

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