Watch out, disease and famine. Now that we’ve fixed the dreaded “Tangled Earphones Cord” problem, we’re coming after you.

Look, we get distracted sometimes. We were totally going to focus on ending sickness and making sure everyone has enough to eat in the world but, darn it, reaching into your pocket and pulling out a knotted wad of headphones is just SO annoying, you know? I mean, sure, lying in a hospital bed or going days without food is bad. No one is saying otherwise. But when I can’t listen to the new MP3s I just downloaded onto my smartphone from the relative comfort of my fully-furnished apartment, it just irks us so bad!

Good news, though! The tangle-free cloth cord with friction reducing coating on these Altec Lansing MUZX Core Earphones makes all that frustration a thing of the past! Not only do you get the high-quality sound performance of powerful 10mm neodymium drivers and an inline mic with 1-button remote, but you’ll never have to stand around pulling at these earphones and wishing you were dead because the music isn’t getting into your sound holes fast enough. See? There’s nothing we humans can’t do when we put our minds to it.

Alright, now where were we? Disease and famine, that’s right. Hmmm. Tough ones. We should order some pizza while we think on this. Now where’s my… Oh man! My phone’s all the way over there! UGH! If someone would just come up with a way to install a phone right here in my arm, then this wouldn’t happen. You know what? Change of plans. First, we fix this “phone embedded in my arm” thing. THEN, we can really focus on the big stuff.

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