Love Is A Many-Splendored Ape

Hope you like TVs, because we got ourselves a Sell-Off! Today we’re selling one TV after another, starting with the biggest screens and

The adolescent female behind the counter grunted brightly, handing over the banana to Bradley. “Here’s your double-grande half-peeled with a shot of avocado. Thanks for choosing -”

“You know what I didn’t choose?” Bradley grunted aggressively, pounding his chest. “I didn’t choose to have your filthy thumbnail gouging the hell out of my banana. That’s digusting.”

Dana felt her face get hot. She was mortified. Why must her husband always do something like this?

“I’m – I’m sorry, sir,” the girl stammered. “This is my first week – I’ve never been a bananista before, and I’m really sorry, let me get you another one -”

“Forget it,” Bradley spat. “If you really want to make me a satisfied customer, go back to whatever volcano you crawled down from. Maybe in another thousand years, you mountain gorillas will be able handle civilization the way we lowland gorillas can. Come on, Dana. We’re going.” He put his head back and howled, his savage fangs dripping saliva. Then he swung out the door of the bananahouse on his great knuckles.

Dana mouthed I’m sorry at the crestfallen counter girl and followed him out to the car. His vitriol continued as he pulled the car into traffic. Dana was silent.

“That stupid little mountain brat,” he ranted. “Forget making a decent banana; I’m amazed she can even figure out how to put on that stupid apron. Well, we need to get home anyway. They’re supposed to be delivering the new Vizio JV50PB 50” ‘Jive’ Plasma HDTV today, so it’ll be ready for the big game on Sunday. I can’t wait to see the look on that smarmy Paul’s face when he gets a look at its fifty-inch, 1080i HD picture. Ha ha – that’s what making senior VP can buy you, you loser. Hope they don’t send some scat-eating mountain-gorilla scum to deliver it. They’ll probably try to mate with it or something.”

Dana realized, with a shock, that she used to think this side of Bradley was funny. He was always saying outrageous things, making her laugh, taking the idiots down a peg. He was the funniest male in the pack, and he was always bringing her little treats: a guava, a neem twig, a handful of juicy termites. What happened? When had it curdled into…this? Shops, cars, people moved past, carefree, oblivious to her ordeal. She realized she was grinding her teeth.

“Oh, listen to this,” Bradley said after they stopped at a red light. “You know how I went to get my fur trimmed the other day? Well, they must’ve had the air conditioning set at, like, eighty. I was freezing! So I asked the idiot who runs the place to turn the thermostat up, and this moron says to me -”

In a second, Dana was away. She just opened the car door and ran. She didn’t know where to. She didn’t care. She just had to get away from the hateful, exhausting gorilla she had married. She ran down an alley, swung from a lamppost, bounded across a square. She hailed a cab, pulled the door open and said -

Nothing. Because getting in from the other side of the cab was a silverback, looking amused at Dana’s frantic, breathless demeanor. And maybe, looking kind of cute. She started to back away. “I’m sorry, I -”

He smiled. “No, no, come on in. You seem to be in more of a hurry than I am. We can share the ride.”

“You don’t mind?” Dana remembered that she didn’t even have a destination in mind. She’d have to make one up, fast. “Are you sure? I mean, I could -”

“I insist.” He stuck out one well-groomed hand. “I’m Roger. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

“Dana,” she said. “Likewise.”

The driver looked back at them in the rearview mirror. “So where you headed?”

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Note: This item will be shipped by truck and delivery will take 1-2 weeks. When you place your order, you MUST enter your daytime phone number so the trucking company can schedule delivery.

Warranty: 90 Day Vizio


  • 50” Plasma HDTV with Dolby Digital 5.1 Surround Sound
  • Support for high definition television at 1080i
  • 15,000:1 Contrast Ratio
  • Includes 2-front channel, 1-center channel as well as 2-rear channel plus a free-standing subwoofer.
  • The rear speakers and subwoofer connect wirelessly to the “Jive” eliminating the wire clutter that is inherent with other surround sound systems.
  • 5.1 SPDIF Digital Optical Audio Input will allow you you to play any Dolby Digital 5.1 output from any source using an optical audio cable without the need to own a seperate stereo system.
  • The VP50P “Jive” generates more than ample sound, even for the discerning audiophile pumping 560-watts total peak power (70-watts RMS) of high quality digital sound to maximize your VIZIO High Definition television experience.


  • Size: 50-in (Viewable: 50-in)
  • Tuner: Integrated NTSC/ATSC/QAM HDTV Tuner
  • Supported TV Formats – 1080i, 720p, 480p, 480i
  • Native Panel Resolution: 1366×768
  • Supported PC Resolutions: 1366×768, 1024×768, 800×600
  • Panel Type: 50” Diagonal, 16:9 Wide Screen, Plasma Panel
  • Pixel/Dot Pitch: 0.81 mm (H) x 0.81 mm (V)
  • Display Compatibility: HDTV (720p)
  • Signal Compatibility: 480i (SDTV), 480P (EDTV), 720P (HDTV), 1080i (HDTV)
  • Colors: 1.07 Billion
  • Brightness: 1,500 cd/m2 (maxl)
  • Contrast Ratio: 15,000:1
  • Viewable Angle: >178 degrees (horizontal and vertical)


  • RF (F Connector for internal tuner): 1
  • HDMI with HDCP: 3
  • Analog Stereo Audio for HDMI Inputs: 1
  • Component YPbPr plus Stereo Audio: 2
  • Composite Video: 2
  • S-Video plus Stereo Audio: 0
  • Computer RGB plus Stereo Audio: 1
  • Service Port: 0


  • Analog Audio out (RCA): 1
  • 5.1 SPDIF Digital Optical Audio: 1
  • Headphone (Stereo Mini-Jack): 0

Additional Information:

  • Picture-in-Picture (PIP)
  • Picture-outside-Picture (POP)
  • Closed Caption (CC)
  • V-Chip
  • Zoom
  • Freeze
  • 3:2 or 2:2 Reverse Pull-down
  • ATSC with 8VSB & QAM demodulation
  • ATSC with MPEG-2 decoding
  • NTSC Video decoding via RF: Yes, thru Antenna, Cable, or Satellite
  • NTSC Video decoding via Video: Yes, thru CVBS, S-Video, or Component
  • Progressive Scan Video: Yes, thru Component YPbPr, VGA or HDMI
  • HDTV: Yes, thru HDMI or Component YPbPr
  • Computer: 640×480, 800×600, 1024×768 thru VGA or 640×480 thru HDMI
  • Sound enhancement: Yes, with 5.1 Digital Dolby Surround Sound (Wireless)
  • Color Temperature: 6500K (standard), 5400K and 9300K
  • Color Fine Tuning: Independent Red, Green and Blue
  • Audio: Built-in 10W x 3, 1 Subwoofer 120w(max), plus 2 x rear channel
  • Lamp (LCD) / Panel (PDP) Life: 60000 hours
  • Power: IEC Connector for direct power line connection
  • Voltage Range100 ~ 240 Vac at 50/60 Hz
  • Power Consumption: 380W average
  • Removable Base


  • Gross:126 lbs
  • Net: 120 lbs
  • Without Stand: 108 lbs


  • Carton: 54.8” W x 45.4” H x 14.5” D
  • Net: 48.8” W x 33.7” H x 11.5” D
  • Without Stand: 48.8” W x 32.2” H X 4.1” D
  • Certifications: CSA, CSA-US FCC Class B, BETS-7


Vizio JV50P 50” “Jive” Plasma HDTV with 5.1 Sound

Sales Stats

Speed to First Woot:
0m 0.772s
First Sucker:
Last Wooter to Woot:

Purchaser Experience

  • 0% first woot
  • 0% second woot
  • 50% < 10 woots
  • 25% < 25 woots
  • 25% ≥ 25 woots

Purchaser Seniority

  • 0% joined today
  • 0% one week old
  • 0% one month old
  • 50% one year old
  • 50% > one year old

Quantity Breakdown

  • 100% bought 1
  • 0% bought 2
  • 0% bought 3

Percentage of Sales Per Hour

12 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11

Woots by State

zero wooters wootinglots of wooters wooting

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Vizio 50” “Jive” Plasma HDTV
$1,099.99 Sold Out
$1,099.99 USD false 1 Retail EA
1 3
Woot! Sellout.Woot
4121 International Pkwy Carollton TX 75007 U.S.A.