O. Henry's "The Office"

If you absolutely need to alert someone to something, flares are the way to go.

"Good morning, Benjamin!"

"Good morning, Suzanne."

"I notice there seems to have been a little ... incident? In front of my parking space today. I was hoping you could shed a little light on the situation."

"Of course, Suzanne. It's simple. When I learned these Safe Flare Light 2-Packs had nine bright LEDs and could mount on metal (like a vehicle) I figured it was the perfect excuse to make sure you got the message at last. I figured even you couldn't miss an omnidirectional device with roughly 200 hours of life off a pair of AAA batteries."

"What message were you trying to send, Benjamin?"

"Seriously? SERIOUSLY, Suzanne? Did you not see the giant sign on the other side of the SafeFlares? The one I had custom made?"

"I guess I was too focused on my meeting."

"It had letters the size of your head! It cost me a week's salary!"

"Well, we can stand here and point fingers, or we can find a productive answer. I'm ready when you are, Benjamin."

"Suzanne- look, come with me to the window. I'll show you."

"Fair enough. Am I looking down there, where the SafeFlares are still glowing?"

"Yes. Just read the sign."

"It says 'No Parking Between-'"

"No, no, no. The OTHER sign."

"It says 'Suzanne: my name's not Benjamin.' Huh. Is that sign true?"

"It is, Suzanne. It is. My name's Roger. And all I want for Christmas is for you to stop calling me by the wrong name."

"Wow, Benjamin. I had no idea. But hey, funny story, I already got you a Christmas gift!"

"Really."

"Yeah, I called a lawyer to get a copy of your birth certificate. It said 'Roger' and I figured that was a typo, so I had it changed legally. To 'Benjamin' instead."

"Suzanne, please tell me you're joking."

"I know! It's like 'Gift of the Magi' now, isn't it? By the way, you might want to call your bank as soon as possible to alert them to the changes. And don't try to travel on your passport. Oh, and get those SafeFlares cleaned up, will you? I couldn't park in my space so I moved them to the CEO's spot, and he usually comes in around this time of day."

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Features

Be prepared for an emergency with SafeFlare. This flashing strobe light offers 9 bright LEDs and is omnidirectional.  It is designed to be hand held or mounted on a metal surface like a vehicle.  Its unique design allows it to float with its light above the water.  This handy little device is ideal for glove boxes, boats or RVs.  Runs up to 200 hours on 2 "AAA" batteries.

  • 360 degrees flashing strobe light
  • Visible for more than 2 miles on the ground or 10 miles from the air (nighttime) / 1000 feet (daytime)
  • 9 LEDs
  • Magnetic bottom can be mounted to any metal surface
  • Floats with light above waterline
  • Twists On and Off
  • Runs up to 200 hours
  • Requires (2) AAA batteries
  • Includes (2) Lights

Shipping Note: Eligible for shipping to all 50 states

Warranty: 90 Day SafeFlare

Specs

Battery 2 - Aklaline AAA batteries
Operating & Strorage Temps -50 degrees F to 248 degrees F
Light Emission Omni-Directional (360 degrees) strobe light
Light Output From light plug Red LEDs = 225,000 MC (9) sorted LEDs at 25,000MC
Visibility Range

Night time >2 miles horizontally; >10 miles from the air

Day time >1,000ft horizontally

Hazmat Hermetically sealed and intrinsically safe
Chemical

Contains no hazardous chemicals

Resistant to most chemicals

No acid compositions

Switch Type Twist on/off
Flash Pattern Flashing Strobe


In the box:

(2) SafeFlare SF-777 Emergency Light

Sales Stats

Speed to First Woot:
1m 15.115s
First Sucker:
mgsully
Last Wooter to Woot:
boolicsious

Purchaser Experience

  • 3% first woot
  • 4% second woot
  • 28% < 10 woots
  • 25% < 25 woots
  • 40% ≥ 25 woots

Purchaser Seniority

  • 2% joined today
  • 1% one week old
  • 2% one month old
  • 14% one year old
  • 82% > one year old

Quantity Breakdown

  • 32% bought 1
  • 32% bought 2
  • 36% bought 3

Percentage of Sales Per Hour

8%
8%
3%
2%
2%
4%
4%
10%
7%
8%
10%
5%
5%
4%
4%
2%
2%
2%
1%
1%
1%
2%
2%
3%
12 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11

Woots by State

zero wooters wootinglots of wooters wooting

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SafeFlare Emergency Light 2-Pack
$9.99 Sold Out Sporting Goods
$9.99 USD false 1 Retail EA
1 3
Woot! Sellout.Woot
4121 International Pkwy Carollton TX 75007 U.S.A.