If you're a king, it's only a matter of time before you go deliriously mad and ruin your kingdom. 

"Come here for a moment, Sir Bradley."

"Yes, your highness? How can I be of service?"

"Do you think I have been a fair King, Sir Bradley? Compassionate to my subjects? Strong in the face of my enemies?"

"I do, your highness. I do indeed. Our land has never seen a more regal leader."

"Excellent. Your words are balm to me, Sir Rodney. I have decided, after my many years of superlative leadership, to go mad."

"Indeed, your highness?"

"Yes, I want to have a legacy as 'The Mad King Alistair', not 'The Fair King Alistair.'"

"Excellent choice, your highness."

"First thing's first: I need you to find me a proper cooking pot for me to wear upon my head in lieu of this crown."

"Very well, your highness. I have just the right set of pots at hand, the Regal Ware 10 Piece Cookware Set."

"How ideal. Let me try them on."

"This is the 2-Quart Sauce Pan, your most gracious highness."

"Hmmm. Too snug, methinks."

"Of course. This is the 3-Quart Sauce Pan, your most gracious highness."

"Hmm. Perhaps a bit too large. I want to be seen as 'mad', not 'batty.'"

"Of course. This is the 10" Saute Pan, your most gracious highness."

"Hmm. Almost, but no."

"Of course. This is the 8" Nonstick Fry Pan."

"Hmm. It won't stay on my head."

"Of course. This is the 9" Nonstick Square Griddle."

"Hmm. Too griddle-y, I'm afraid."

"Of course. This is the 5-Quart Nonstick Dutch Oven."

"PERFECT! We've found our pot. Now, find me some subjects to needlessly torture and kill."

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