Over budget on the helipad. Under budget on the helicopter.

Thanks for dropping by, Mr. Tremmings. As you can see, construction on your helipad is coming along nicely. A problem though: we had to overshoot the estimate by just a bit.

What happened? Well, two things. First off, there was the whole issue of the pad’s surface. As you requested, we didn’t use traditional building materials, but instead melted down rare Supertramp LPs into a molten substance and then poured it in much the same way that you’d pour cement. We got off to an easy start with this but then hit a snag. See, the whole thing that makes the LPs rare is there aren’t many of them, so we ran out pretty quickly. This meant that we had to go around destroying other Supertramp LPs to make them rarer – which involved a lot of breaking and entering, destruction of property, and thus additional legal fees – which, in turn, increased the price-per-record.

And second, as you asked, we got a couple Saharan snow leopards to protect the whole thing. As it turns out that a) those are expensive – like “illegal to buy” expensive – and b) they’re not naturally inclined to protect helipads. So we had to have them trained, and man, it’s tough finding a Saharan snow leopard trainer who’ll keep his mouth shut. So, that ran up the bill even more.

But the good news is, this shouldn’t result in any extra money spent out of pocket. We just re-allocated some money from the helicopter budget.

No, no, Mr. Tremmings! There’s no need to worry! We already found a helicopter that we could buy with the cash left over! A Phantom S107 Helicopter with Gyro! Sure, it’s a little bit smaller than you were hoping, but trust me, this puppy is suh-weet! Its metal body adds strength yet is light weight, making it super easy to fly and maneuver!

In fact, the only real problem is, we didn’t have enough money for the 6 AA batteries it takes. But you can wait, right, Mr. Tremmings?

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