The cow goes "Moo." The duck goes "Quack Quack." The giraffe goes … uhhh. Hmmm. 

Seriously. What noise does a giraffe make? You know what, it doesn't matter. Even if some acclaimed zoologist attributed some arbitrary onomatopoeia to the noise a giraffe makes, it'd probably be just as ridiculously inaccurate as, say, the noise a pig makes. Oink Oink? Really? I'll give you one million dollars if you can bring me a pig that actually utters those words.

A dog says "Bow Wow." No it doesn't. Not even close. A horse says "Neigh." And I say nay to that because it's total crap. Anyway, enough of this tangent. Let's talk about these knives, shall we?

They're stylish. You know, if you're into that sort of exotic animal print thing. And even though you might think they're all for show, they're made from Japanese high carbon stainless steel which means the blades are super sharp. And to make sure they stay that way, they all come with sheathes to protect the blades.

Now, can you tell me the noise a knife makes when you pull it out of its sheath?

"SHHHIIINNNGGG"

Is that your answer? Oooh, sorry. That is incorrect. The answer we were looking for was "........." That's right. Nothing. Regardless of what fabricated Hollywood reality you subscribe to, I assure you that a knife does not make that metal-on-metal scraping noise when you unsheathe it. And neither does a sword, for that matter. Don't believe me? Give it a try for yourself. I'll be right here when you get back …

… See? I told you. Everything you know is wrong. 

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