They say that house guests are like fish: They start to stink after three days, unless properly gutted, filleted and frozen.

Hey, I crashed on many a lumpy couch in my day. I’ve slept in the bathtub, on hardwood and concrete floors—and once in some guy’s closet, which he had furnished with a custom-cut foam pad, creating the world’s most terrible guest room.

So I feel like it’s my duty to provide my own overnight guests with a little more comfort. The twin-sized AeroBed Bed in a Minute II is perfect. It’s got coil construction for extra support, and a soft, velvety surface for sleeping on. Not that I don’t provide my guests with sheets. Because, laundry permitting, I do.

It’s great for unexpected overnighters, too. I mean, with its tuff li’l handheld pump, it inflates and deflates in two shakes of a lamb’s tail (depending on how fast your particular lamb is). Plus it rolls up to fit in its own carry bag, so I’ve always got it at the ready in the back of my linen closet.

The best thing about my AeroBed, though, is the low price at which I scored it. It was cheap enough that when I get tired of my guests, I can just slash the mattress with a box-cutter, claim not to know how the thing ripped, and tell them not to worry; they’ll be much more comfortable in a motel. They don’t have to know I own two more spares!

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