Beats Solo3 Wireless On-Ear Headphones (Open Box)

Ok, look. I’ve bought other mid-level brand On-Ear headphones whenever I found a good sale. I’ve owned JBL, Anker, Plantronics, and Cowans. Even though none of these headphones were disappointing and I wound up handing-them-down to my kids whenever I would find a new deal, I could never walk by the Beats display at the Apple store or Target without trying on a pair. I was convinced that BEATS were the highest quality I would ever justify buying for myself (ok, ok, maybe BOSE too..) I used to stare up at the night sky, and wish upon a star that someday an insignificant spec like me, floating in the ether and ambiguity of middle-class America, might be blessed or lucky enough to step my audio game up to the big leagues with my own pair of BEATS. I would stand in the Group 4 boarding line on for my Southwest flights, and gape longingly at the tailored suit wearing, leather duffel carrying, first class yuppies with their BEATS proudly displayed around their necks, and self consciously flip up the collar of my hand me down pea coat to hide the cheapish headphones on my own neck. Then, Black Friday 2021 arrives, and the Amazon algorithm knew just what would grab my attention… lo, and behold. Beats Solo 3’s for $99?! Had my wish come true? Was there hope for this universe to escape the entropy of heat death? Why, yes, said Amazon. This is your ticket to the big show, sir. You’ve worked hard for your lifestyle. You bought the tailored suit. You bought the leather duffel. You wear the Armani cologne. You have many leather bound books. Your house smells of rich mahogany. There is only one thing you must possess to fully self-actualize, to stand in that boarding line with your head held high, smirking at all those peons with their non-BEATS headphones, paying forward the shame you’ve carried. You, sir, have arrived. (Ok I’m done with the fluff, here’s the deal. The Beats Solo 3 are an OK pair of headphones. That’s it. The sound isn’t bad, but it isn’t great. If you reread the advertisement, the thing emphasized most is the APPLE chip, which admittedly makes it super easy to connect them to an iPhone but holy hell how hard is it to connect Bluetooth headphones? Is it so difficult that you needed to dumb it down to 1 click instead of 3 clicks? The battery life is impressive however is on par with other $40-$60 headphones. Also. Um… yo Beats. 2017 called. They’d like their micro-USB charger back. If the sound were awesome, I’d probably keep them, but only because the logo has swagger, and because when my 15 year old son saw them he was like “Oh wow Dad you got BEATS?!” and (not to get off track) but I desperately want to be the cool, hip dad. (People still say hip right?) The biggest disappointment, and the reason I will be returning them, is that this pair (for the money, even on Black Friday sale) SHOULD 100% HAVE JUST EVEN A LITTLE NOISE CANCELING, AND SHAME ON BEATS FOR INSINUATING THE EAR CUPS ARE NOISE CANCELLING BECAUSE THAT IS SOME MISLEADING NONSENSE. You know god damn well we want that Active Noise Cancelling, that good good. IF YOU WANT NOISE CANCELLING HEADPHONES OR HEADPHONES WITH A MORE THAN MEDIOCRE SOUND QUALITY… I would not recommend springing for these. You can get both from JBL, Anker, Plantronics for less money. Just remember not to take out those headphones until after you’ve walked through first class, you proletariat cog. :)