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If you want to receive a boatload of crap from people you hardly know: Have a baby. Sure, wedding presents are similar, but there's a tinge of true crap inherent in all baby gifts that is simply unequaled. These items, of course, are the exception that proves the rule.
There is no emotional scar more lasting than not receiving enough gifts when you are born. It is a wound you will carry with you the rest of your life, and which can never truly heal. They say a child who is not sufficiently inundated with stuff upon their arrival to the world can never truly love at all.