Creatine shake in one hand, Mississippi Mudslide in the other. That’s what I call multitasking.

You know what they say: all power-squatting and no frozen blended cocktails makes Jeff a dull bro. Yes, my body is a temple. But not the quiet, boring kind of temple with monks shuffling around lighting candles. More like a temple built by one of the heathen tribes in the Old Testament, where virgins writhe around on giant golden goat statues and everybody is splashing wine everywhere. Nobody even cares about the stains, that’s how drunk and spiritual people are at my temple.

So two is the perfect number of Vortex Portable Mixers to accomodate the two sides of my hard-partying, heavy-lifting lifestyle. Each 18-ounce mug features a 11,000-rpm motor to mix just about anything – and not just with regular power, but with vortex power! One is reserved for the business of powdered supplement shakes; the other is all about the pleasure of margaritas and daiquiris.

And I can use either one for this creation I call the Baby Blue Bayou. You throw a couple of ounces of vodka and half a shot of blue curaçao into the Vortex with some crushed ice (the Vortex can’t crush ice, just mix it). Then add two scoops of Similac and vortex your way to rapid muscle-mass gain. There’s no better way to really feel young again, and also a little buzzed.

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