Is there anything more attractive than the way a woman impatiently looks at her watch? No way.

The flushed cheeks. The way her nostrils flare. That little vein in her neck that sort of sticks out and throbs when she reminds you that you said you were going to save your video game fifteen minutes ago. Any other man might take it all as a hint to stop screwing around and put the controller down, but not you. No, you’ve worked hard to paint this perfect portrait of resentment and frustration. Why give up when you are so close to finishing your latest masterpiece?

Suddenly, you hear it: the click of her tongue against the roof of her mouth. A heavy sigh follows, and you watch from the corner of your eye as she balls up her left hand into a fist and turns the multi-hued mother-of-pearl dial of her Swiss Legend Ladies Watch. YES, the moment has arrived! Just look at the way she gazes through the Sapphitek crystal covering the watch’s face! You can barely see her lips now as she presses them tightly together and reads the slim silver-tone second hand and framed silver-tone, luminous-filled hour and minute hands! It’s all you can do to keep from shivering at the stunning beauty of it as a low, loud growl rises up from her throat. “Turn off your stupid game and LET’S. GO. NOW.”

Perfection. Oh, she’s mad, alright, and she’s going to take it out on you during the entire drive to the dinner party you never wanted to attend in the first place. But for that brief moment of exquisite revenge, it’s worth it.

As she storms out of the house, leaving you to lock the door, you’ll hear her say, “I swear, I think you do this on purpose just to drive me crazy.” Oh, if only she knew.

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