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I’ve heard your cries, America. You want a change in this country. You want an honest, hardworking civil servant to fight the good fight, ask the tough questions, and restore America to its past and future glory. And you’ve put your faith in me to be that politician; to serve your interests. Believe me, I understand.
But I cannot be your leader, America. I’m sorry to say.
It’s not a matter of qualifications. I obtained a Masters degree in Geopolitical Policy from Harvard. I’ve served as a United Nations representative and advisor to the past four administrations. Every single poll taken by every possible organization shows me winning the race hands down, running away, no questions asked.
Unfortunately, it’s come to my attention that I own a computer.
It’s not an evil computer, it’s not a socialist computer, and it’s not a computer somehow connected to a Russian spy network. In fact, it’s just a refurbished HP Pavilion P7 Quad-Core Desktop. It’s got a 3.1GHz AMD Athlon II 645 Quad-Core Processor, 6GB DDR3 Memory, and a 1TB SATA Hard Drive. I can watch DVDs on it and play CDs. But that’s not the problem.
The problem is it’s a computer, and it is connected to the internet, and so history has taught me it’s only a matter of time until it is hacked or my emails are leaked and something insidious I barely even know is on there makes the front page of all the papers and I have to drop out, disgraced.
So I figure I’ll just cut out the middle man here and drop out now.
15-in-1 Card Reader
Side Panel Off
Rear Panel
Keyboard
Mouse
Package Contents
Packaging
Warranty: 90 Day HP
Condition: Refurbished
Features:
| Specifications: | |
| Processor: | AMD Athlon II X4 645 (3.1GHz) |
| Processor Core: | Quad-Core |
| Memory: | 6GB DDR3 (PC3-10600) |
| Max Memory: | 16GB |
| Memory Slots: | 4 (2 available) |
| Graphics: | ATI Radeon 4200 (2943MB shared) |
| Hard Drive: | 1TB SATA (7200rpm) |
| Optical Drive: | SuperMulti DVD±RW |
| Audio Chipset: | Integrated ALC888S-VD |
| Sound: | 8-Channel |
| Network: | 10/100Mbps BaseT |
| Wireless: | 802.11b/g/n |
| Front Panel: | |
| 15-in-1 Card Reader: (SM, MS, SD, miniSD, MSD, MS Pro, MSPD, xD, MMC, RS-MMC, MMCmobile, MMC+, CF-I, CF-II, IBM Microdrive) (2) USB 2.0 (1) Headphone out (1) Microphone in |
| Rear Panel: | |
| 8-Channel HD Audio (4) USB 2.0 (1) VGA (1) DVI-D (1) RJ-45 LAN (1) S/PDIF out |
| Expansion Slots & Bays: | |
| (3) PCI Express x1 Slots (available) (1) PCI Express x16 Slots (available) (1) Minicard Slot (occupied) (2) 5.25" Drive Bay (1 occupied) (2) 3.5" Drive Bay (1 occupied) |
| Operating System: | |
| Genuine Windows 7 Home Premium 64-bit |
| Power Supply: | |
| 250W Max |
| Dimensions: | |
| 16.75" (L) x 7" (W) x 15.5" (H) |
| Weight: | |
| 19.6 lbs |
In the box:
| 12 | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 |
|---|
