That’s not the roar of the crowd you here. That’s water hitting the bottom of the tub.

THANK YOU, UPSTAIRS BATHROOM SHOWER, WE LOVE YOU!

Whew! Great show tonight, fellas, great show. Probably the best of the tour so far. Luffah, man, you really scrubbed them down out there. Even the folks in the back crevice were goin’ nuts. And razor, I don’t think you’ve ever been smoother, buddy. There wasn’t a hair on my chest that wasn’t affected by the way you played tonight, I guarantee you. And don’t think I’ve forgotten about you, Shampoo, Conditioner, and Shower Gel. It takes a lot of work to do the dirty job you do every night, but you managed to cover every nook and cranny for a solidly clean performance.

Oh, but you, Dream Spa Handheld Shower Head, you were a thing of chrome-finished wonder. The moment you were pulled from the installable mounting brackets and I started to sing, we were making magic in that shower, babe, MAGIC. Through five different settings and three flow zones, you didn’t miss a note. There were moments I thought your Water Flow Regulator was gonna pop right off your 60-inch stainless steel hose and into the crowd, that’s how amazing we were. I really believe we made shower head microphone history just now. I could’ve played forever if the hot water hadn’t run out, you know what I’m saying?

Alright, everyone, I’ll catch you guys at tomorrow’s show, right? See you on the… Whoa, hey, what’s this? Who let this Hand Lotion in here? Our contract specifically said no groupies are allowed backstage.

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