Watches do a lot of things these days. Some tell you the temperature. Some have compasses that come in handy when you're lost in the woods. Some even help you compute the tip after lunch. But when you get down to it, watches really only have one purpose. Goats. Or wait, time! Ugh! We always mess that up.
Some of them faint. Some of them scream like humans. Some of them will try to eat your shorts at the petting zoo when you're two years old, thus inflicting emotional scars that will stick with you for the rest of your life. Ugh! Crap! We did it again! This was supposed to be "About Watches."