Today we’re selling You-Know-What. What? Well, don’t be ridiculous, you can’t expect us to actually say a Razer Diamondback Salamander or Chameleon Gaming Mouse… oh! You tricked me! Hurry, we must fly! To your broomsticks, everyone!

“Mary Blotter!” the wizard yelled from his high throne in the lunchroom. “Approach the sorting shoes!”

Mary swallowed as she began to walk forward. This was it! This was the big decision! She looked around the room at all the students and wondered what it would be like in just a minute from now, when the decision had been made. Would she be a Razer Diamondback Salamander or a Razer Diamondback Chameleon Gaming Mouse?

Of course, the choice was out of her hands. Even her new friends, Herman and Rhonda, had no influence over the sorting shoes. Mary felt her heart jump as she realized that they could even be assigned different mice! What would become of their friendship? If Rhonda was a Red Salamander, and Herman was a Green Chameleon! How could they find anything in common when all they shared was 1600dpi optical sensor with On-The-Fly Sensitivity™ adjustment, Seven independently programmable Ultra-large non-slip buttons, a 16-bit ultra-wide data path, GlowPipe™ non-slip side rails, Zero-acoustic Ultraslick™ Teflon feet, a Seven-foot, lightweight, non-tangle cord and a Gold-plated USB Connector? How could it even matter that they shared the same driver, which can be found right here by the way, when they had to eat at different tables at lunchtime?

Mary tried to tell herself it didn’t matter so that she would stay calm, but it didn’t work. She felt her legs shake as she stepped into the sorting shoes. This was it, the decision, the one that might shape her entire career as a magician, the one that would certainly pick her lifelong friends, this horrible decision about what color her mouse would be was out of her hands…

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