But it’s the idea of it, see.

You know those stories? Where someone’s trapped under an avalanche, or on a storm-tossed ship at sea, or in a collapsed mine shaft or something? And he’ll get on the radio, or the satellite phone, or the CB, or whatever he’s got, and he’ll have one last tender, tragic, poignant exchange with his gal back home before the signal fades?

Those stories always get to us. We bet they get to you, too! Unless you’re an emotionless robot like Spock, or the Tin Man, or Carson Daly. They get to everybody. Nothing jerks tears harder than a set of cruel circumstances under which a man has enough time only to speak his love one last time, and maybe name his unborn child, before the signal fades forever.

That’s why we don’t want a Lenmar PowerPort Mini External Battery Pack for our iPhone, Blackberry, or other portable electronic device. It’s good for up to 20 hours of backup power, or two complete battery recharges.

We ask you: When you’re stuck in a disabled submarine on the ocean floor, and no rescue is coming, and you’re sending your last words of love and farewell to that special someone up on the surface—do you want that to be a 20-hour conversation? No way, man. Short and sweet, that’s how these things go. You get on the line, you say what’s got to be said, and you get off. “I love you more than anything darling. Be brave, OK? Try to… [static] ...signal fading… [static] ...I love you so much… [static] ...oodbye, my darl… [static].”

Honestly, after ten minutes, what would you even talk about? “So, uh, how was work?” We’re terrible in long conversations anyway. They just devolve into the most trivial small-talk. It’s painful. And how would you possibly end that phone call, if your failing battery didn’t end it for you?

Imagine it, FIFTEEN HOURS after the crying stopped: “Well, OK, I guess that’s about it. Oh! Your Christmas presents are at the back of the closet, behind where my shoes are. Don’t peek until then, though, OK? So… I guess, uh… I’ll, uh, talk to you late- I mean… Well, you know.”

Yeah, no way we’re risking the possibility of a 20-hour battery charge on our phone if the worst ever happens to us. No way. We wouldn’t carry one of these Lenmar PowerPort Mini External Battery Pack around if you paid us.

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