And now, brace yourself for the most thrilling ecommerce sensation on Earth, a product so mind-blowingly wondrous, you’ll weep with- wait, what? We’re out of those? Let’s just sell this battery charger, then.

Living in our unpredictable, ever-changing, often foul-smelling world, a person begins to ask certain questions. Why am I here? How am I here? Am I really here? Where is “here”, anyway? But as valuable as those questions are for making stoners feel smart, most of the questions we ask are more along the lines of “Why didn’t those *&$#@ at Circuit City tell me this *&%$#@ charger isn’t compatible with my *&$%#@ cell phone?”

The HRL Tech Universal Car Charger is the answer. Well, not literally the answer to those questions above, because that wouldn’t make grammatical sense. We mean it’s the solution to your pesky incompatibility botheration. Basically, if your doohickus runs off a lithium-ion batteries up to 5V, or on USB power, this thing can charge it. We’d show you the compatibility chart, but there’s just one word on it: YES.

And zapping up those batteryz? It’s as easy as line-dancing. Remove the battery. Put it in the Universal Charger. Adjust the connectors of the charger so they make contact with both poles of the battery. Then slide the prongs into your car’s lighter jack and go make yourself a sandwich or something. You’ll be fully Li-Ioned up in no time. Obviously, USB charge-ups are even easier, assuming you know a USB jack from a hole in the ground.

You don’t have to stumble blindly through a world of uncertainty and doubt, unless that’s what you’re into. Swim through the seas of confusion, past the riptides of anxiety and around the barracudas of suspicion, to a carefree island where compatibility is universal and Li-Ions lay down with Dodge Rams. The HRL Tech Universal Car Charger will be your water wings.

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