Inside of this thing you'll find... computer stuff.

We bet you thought you'd come here and find out what's inside this HP desktop, huh? Ha! That'd be way too predictable for us! No, instead, we're going to tell you what's NOT in this thing. Check it out:

• There are no birds' nests
• There are no fried eggs
• There are no snakes (plural, there may be a single snake)
• There are no hamster wheels
• There's no gasoline
• There isn't a turtle who speaks in riddles
• There isn't a head band that gives you powers unthinkable
• There isn't a big huge pile of money*
• There isn't a tiny civilization whose scientific techniques have eclipsed ours by centuries
• There isn't a pair of scissors that'll make any jeans into the perfect pair of cutoffs
• There isn't a latte with your dream from last night rendered in foam
• There are no bananas

*Just in case you open your rig up and FIND a bunch of money, that's... ummm... a factory defect. So, you should send it back to us.

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