Hey Nonny Nonny And Ring The Bell For I Now Begin To Sing/Of the HP Photosmart C3140 All-In-One Printer That Did Become A King/For He Did Save His Dear People From A Most Terrible Curse/His Story True Now Lies Within, Out Here We’re Out Of Words

Let me set the scene. It was last Thursday. We were all in Larry’s basement, deep within the latest campaign. That’s right, we were beta tests the new role-playing game: Offices And Office Managers. Cameron was the Staple Gun, like always. Paul liked a challenge so he played a Sharpie. And I was the HP Photosmart C3140 All-In-One Printer.

At the first keep we met a paper cutter. Paul wrote magic runes all over it but that only made it mad. Cameron couldn’t pierce its hide. It was up to me. I used my printer skills to drop 20 color pages per minute, or like us pros call it, “ppm”.

When that wasn’t working, I went with monochrome, which was 22 pages a minute. Cameron rolled a one and jammed. While he reloaded, Paul used his gas attack to try and overpower the paper cutter with the fumes. When Cameron was ready, it was time for the ultimate attack.

Before we left the tavern, Paul had written a spell down on a sheet of paper. I was plugged in to the guild computer with my standard USB plug, and that helped me use my 19200 dpi, 1200×1200 dpi Optical Scanner. It only took a max of 48 seconds and we were done. We saved the image to a memory card of some sort, it could have been a Compact Flash, or a Memory Stick, or a Memory Stick Duo, or a Secure Digital Card, or a MMC, or a xD-Picture card. I don’t really remember, all I know is that whatever it was, it was not included and we had to buy it separately. But it worked, and so we had that spell ready.

Paul gave me the memory stick and I transfered the spell to my 32MB of memory. I printed a single sheet and slapped it on my 600 dpi monochrome copier. Then with the speed of 22 cpm (that’s copies per minute) I launched up to 99 copies of the spell at the paper cutter. It squeaked violently as it began to un-align and soon its blade was worthless. We had won.

Yeah, not everyone can be champions like me, and Cameron and Paul, but when you’re an HP Photosmart C3140 All-In-One Printer, it isn’t so hard to win. With all that experience we got extra levels! Hey, did I ever tell you about the Siege of Scissor Mountain?

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