This’ll teach your parents for not getting you that Castle Greyskull back in the 80’s.

You have four new messages. First new message.

Sweetie? Sweetie, it’s your mom. Are you there? Oh, that’s right, this is voice mail, not an answering machine! Sorry, buddy. Anyway, your father and I were just trying to figure out how to install this… uh… Hold on, let me get my glasses… There we go. “Crucial 256GB Internal Solid State Drive.” That’s it. So your father has been looking at his computer for the last three hours now and he still can’t figure out what to do with it. We thought maybe you could come over and help us install it. Just give us a call back. Kisses!

Next message.

Honey, it’s your mother again. Your father is getting pretty anxious about that thingamajig you got us for Christmas. He found an article on that Goggle search thing about how adding this SSD or whatever it’s called offers powerful speeds and extra features at a low cost per Giga … Bits, bytes, bloops? Anyway, I guess it’s a lot. Of course, we still can’t seem to get the thing inside the computer, you know. Maybe I could make that fish dish you liked so much as a kid and you could help your father before he loses his mind. Call me back. Love you, snugglebutt!

Next Message.

This is about that toy, isn’t it? You never let us forget that you wanted that scary fortress looking thing all those years ago, did you? Oh no. And now you’ve given us this wonderful, well, WHATEVER it is, and it’s driving your father up the wall not being able to use it. All that drive is doing is holding down the little piece of paper he keeps his Spider Solitaire scores on and that’d just not right! Young man, you call us right back, do you hear me? I know you’re listening even though it’s not an answering machine!

Final Message.

I’m not sure how this works, but we found your castle on some auction website and your father says we won it. So here’s the deal, you ungrateful brat: You install the drive, you get your rotten little castle. You know where to reach us, you little jerk.

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