It has been 20 years since the putty became sentient and eradicated almost the entire human race. We must fight back.

Wednesday, 7:00 AM

I stride across this bleak wasteland cursing the putty that put my kind in this mess. Today is the 20 year anniversary of Lord Aaron bestowing his regular putty with the ability to think. At first it was heralded as a miracle of science. The putty mimicked our speech, a nice parlor trick. But then people started disappearing. When they reappeared, there was something wrong with them. We couldn't figure out what it was at first.

Meanwhile, Lord Aaron was clearly losing his marbles. He began making executive decisions that baffled his most trusted advisors, such as: One Scoop Of Putty In Every Household; Make Putty The International Sex Symbol; and I Pass My Crown Onto This Jar Of Putty Plus I'm Not Crazy. It was clear that Lord Aaron's mind had been hijacked by his own creation. Once the administration realized what was going on, it was too late.

Thinking Putty accumulated entire cities and replaced them with wobbly copies. I came home one day to find my entire apartment building jiggling, the front door replaced by a gaping maw and the crudely etched words "HUMANS IN HERE" with an arrow pointing into the blobby darkness. I knew to walk away. Many others did not.

Maybe I should've taken the easy way out too. It'd be real easy to walk into the putty and let the fun stuff envelop you slowly. But I choose to fight. I choose to punch that putty right in the -- what, face? butt? putty? -- and declare "NO, PUTTY. I AM A THINKING HUMAN AND YOU SHALL NOT" and the rest will come to me in the moment. 

It'll be getting dark soon. The putty patrols will be out. I have to go back to the cave and rally more recruits. If you find this message and you are not putty, I urge you to hold out hope for the revolution. For pure revolution is the onlyEVERYTHING FINE, PUTTY IS FRIEND. WE SHOULD LET PUTTY RULE HUMANS, THEY FUN AND WE LIKE THEM. NO REVOLTY. PUTTY.

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