KtCallista


quality posts: 33 Private Messages KtCallista
FenStar wrote:I know it could be worse, and really that is what bothers me, they are only going to get worse.



Your Mom could have died when you were six. That would be worse and you don't have to live with that.

Instead you get to give back to the people that raised you, helped you through all the crap you deal with in college. Have always had a door open for you, a safe place to return to incase things don't work out. Yeah, aging sucks. Parents not rocking all the stuff they used to be able to sucks. And it's hard to be the kid that sticks around and deals with it as they lose their muscles and their marbles, but at least you get to.

Sorry.

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Paper Napkins on the Edge of Insanity

You can call me Goddess, that's fine.

FenStar


quality posts: 16 Private Messages FenStar

It has just been a long day by my standards, and I still have work to do. I went to check their flight tomorrow, and it turns out it doesn't exist. Found the right flight number and sent them an e-mail. I'm guessing it would be fine even if they had the wrong number, but i'm not sure if it might aeffect the first international flight somehow. If they were the same ticket or something.

Still single, can't imagine why.

FenStar


quality posts: 16 Private Messages FenStar
KtCallista wrote:Your Mom could have died when you were six. That would be worse and you don't have to live with that.

Instead you get to give back to the people that raised you, helped you through all the crap you deal with in college. Have always had a door open for you, a safe place to return to incase things don't work out. Yeah, aging sucks. Parents not rocking all the stuff they used to be able to sucks. And it's hard to be the kid that sticks around and deals with it as they lose their muscles and their marbles, but at least you get to.

Sorry.


I know I don't have serious problems, but if I'm not allowed to whine a little bit on PWA, then I'm not sure what this thread is for.

Still single, can't imagine why.

KtCallista


quality posts: 33 Private Messages KtCallista
FenStar wrote:It has just been a long day by my standards, and I still have work to do. I went to check their flight tomorrow, and it turns out it doesn't exist. Found the right flight number and sent them an e-mail. I'm guessing it would be fine even if they had the wrong number, but i'm not sure if it might aeffect the first international flight somehow. If they were the same ticket or something.



Yeah, I get that. My Mother-in-law insisted they had no trouble getting a hotel room to visit us on a big University weekend, and I knew there was no way they got rooms that easy. I went and checked at the hotel (my friend was the GM) and they had booked for the wrong weekend. We ended up having them stay at our place, which I like, but they felt too crowded I think. Our place is really small.

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Paper Napkins on the Edge of Insanity

You can call me Goddess, that's fine.

KtCallista


quality posts: 33 Private Messages KtCallista
FenStar wrote:I know I don't have serious problems, but if I'm not allowed to whine a little bit on PWA, then I'm not sure what this thread is for.



Yeah sorry your timing is bad. My cousin's cousin who was the mother of two small kids died a couple weeks ago. We was only 3 years older than me. My cousin is taking it really really hard.

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Paper Napkins on the Edge of Insanity

You can call me Goddess, that's fine.

FenStar


quality posts: 16 Private Messages FenStar

Just there are a lot of little things, lawnmower belt is broken (due to stupidity judging from the damage) the sweeper bag was so full it was overflowing and i had to spend a fair amount of time cleaning out its innards, and so on. Nothing huge, just little things, but things that should not be happening.

Still single, can't imagine why.

FenStar


quality posts: 16 Private Messages FenStar
KtCallista wrote:Yeah sorry your timing is bad. My cousin's cousin who was the mother of two small kids died a couple weeks ago. We was only 3 years older than me. My cousin is taking it really really hard.

Yea, it happens more often than it seems like it should, often times abruptly with no indication of anything being wrong. I'm hoping that at least the kids didn't find her dead? That is something you just don't recover from.

Still single, can't imagine why.

SkekTek


quality posts: 17 Private Messages SkekTek
KtCallista wrote:My paper shredder needs to cool down again. So I'm back.

I'll have to get some better range maps than the quick Google search I did earlier. What are you hoping to discover with teaching the young a different song?



It's not a matter of teaching them- what they learn is immaterial. It's how they encode what they learn. And how they remember it year to year.

But I'm so busy with data analysis that I haven't even entered the derby the last 2 weeks... maybe this week.

Josephus


quality posts: 25 Private Messages Josephus

Fen's just living with and expressing the frustration of having aging parents. A lot of us go through it, I have a great deal of empathy about it. My mother is in pretty late Alzheimer's now, and I frankly don't know how my dad has held up for so long. It sucks big time; it's been a couple of years since she's known who he is. That may not happen with your parents, Fen, I hope not. Normal aging also produces the kind of things you're talking about, and it is also frustrating.

KtCallista


quality posts: 33 Private Messages KtCallista
FenStar wrote:Yea, it happens more often than it seems like it should, often times abruptly with no indication of anything being wrong. I'm hoping that at least the kids didn't find her dead? That is something you just don't recover from.



I don't know if her kids were there or not, she rolled a tractor.

___________________________________________________________________
Paper Napkins on the Edge of Insanity

You can call me Goddess, that's fine.

KtCallista


quality posts: 33 Private Messages KtCallista
SkekTek wrote:It's not a matter of teaching them- what they learn is immaterial. It's how they encode what they learn. And how they remember it year to year.

But I'm so busy with data analysis that I haven't even entered the derby the last 2 weeks... maybe this week.



Oh, ok. I get that. That's the part of ornithology I liked

I hear ya on busy. I'm trying to get some hydrology tools online and it's not going nearly fast enough.

___________________________________________________________________
Paper Napkins on the Edge of Insanity

You can call me Goddess, that's fine.

KtCallista


quality posts: 33 Private Messages KtCallista
Josephus wrote:Fen's just living with and expressing the frustration of having aging parents. A lot of us go through it, I have a great deal of empathy about it. My mother is in pretty late Alzheimer's now, and I frankly don't know how my dad has held up for so long. It sucks big time; it's been a couple of years since she's known who he is. That may not happen with your parents, Fen, I hope not. Normal aging also produces the kind of things you're talking about, and it is also frustrating.



I respect that a lot. I'll be following soon (my dad's showing early signs of Alzheimer's and it runs in both of my parents' families). That's one of the few things that wouldn't be so bad about moving in next door like they want us to. Don't really like the area, won't be much that I was hoping to get involved with academically, but we would be there to help Mom and Dad. I'm lucky right now because my sister and her husband have been fixing their computers and making sure they have what they need. With my dad going through chemo I really felt bad being so far away because I can't do the little things, like making sure the mower works. We all can only do what we can do.

___________________________________________________________________
Paper Napkins on the Edge of Insanity

You can call me Goddess, that's fine.

FenStar


quality posts: 16 Private Messages FenStar
Josephus wrote:Fen's just living with and expressing the frustration of having aging parents. A lot of us go through it, I have a great deal of empathy about it. My mother is in pretty late Alzheimer's now, and I frankly don't know how my dad has held up for so long. It sucks big time; it's been a couple of years since she's known who he is. That may not happen with your parents, Fen, I hope not. Normal aging also produces the kind of things you're talking about, and it is also frustrating.



Right and I'm not trying to say woe is me or anything, my parents are in quite good health, and if their parents are any indication, they will live long and healthy lives. Everyone in my family is a little dippy to begin with.

Still single, can't imagine why.

SkekTek


quality posts: 17 Private Messages SkekTek
FenStar wrote:Just there are a lot of little things, lawnmower belt is broken (due to stupidity judging from the damage) the sweeper bag was so full it was overflowing and i had to spend a fair amount of time cleaning out its innards, and so on. Nothing huge, just little things, but things that should not be happening.



You never know- it could just be that you're picking up on the small things. But it's good that you're willing to help out. If the big things start happening, then you might want to see if they can get help from their friends so you're not on the hook all the time.

Parents... all you can do is love them ;)

FenStar


quality posts: 16 Private Messages FenStar
SkekTek wrote:You never know- it could just be that you're picking up on the small things. But it's good that you're willing to help out. If the big things start happening, then you might want to see if they can get help from their friends so you're not on the hook all the time.

Parents... all you can do is love them ;)



Yea, it is just that i have spent the last however long watching the dogs when they are away so I happen to see this stuff. I really wasn't trying to make a big deal about it (at least not this time :p ) it was more of a passing remark. I figure everyone knows I am a bit of a drama queen.

Still single, can't imagine why.

KtCallista


quality posts: 33 Private Messages KtCallista
SkekTek wrote:You never know- it could just be that you're picking up on the small things. But it's good that you're willing to help out. If the big things start happening, then you might want to see if they can get help from their friends so you're not on the hook all the time.

Parents... all you can do is love them ;)



....because all the other options are illegal ;)

I shouldn't give Fen a hard time, sorry.

___________________________________________________________________
Paper Napkins on the Edge of Insanity

You can call me Goddess, that's fine.

KtCallista


quality posts: 33 Private Messages KtCallista
FenStar wrote:Yea, it is just that i have spent the last however long watching the dogs when they are away so I happen to see this stuff. I really wasn't trying to make a big deal about it (at least not this time :p ) it was more of a passing remark. I figure everyone knows I am a bit of a drama queen.



Now you are ready to babysit for friends. (I'd say be a dad, but I can't say it with a straight face and I don't want to pick on Fen too much tonight) Then you can find all kinds of stuff not taken care of and the weirdest things in places you'd never think they could be.

___________________________________________________________________
Paper Napkins on the Edge of Insanity

You can call me Goddess, that's fine.

SkekTek


quality posts: 17 Private Messages SkekTek
FenStar wrote:Yea, it is just that i have spent the last however long watching the dogs when they are away so I happen to see this stuff. I really wasn't trying to make a big deal about it (at least not this time :p ) it was more of a passing remark. I figure everyone knows I am a bit of a drama queen.



Naaah. I have questioned the sanity of my parents more in the last 2 years than ever before. Especially when they cracked the 70 year line and decided to move to Fort Wayne IN, a place they haven't lived in since the '60s because it was cheaper there. But so far, it's worked out.

Speaking of which, it reminds me that I have to replace the plastic cover on the drive belt on my lawnmower- it fell off when I was mowing last week and of course I mowed it into a hundred pieces.

KtCallista


quality posts: 33 Private Messages KtCallista
SkekTek wrote:Naaah. I have questioned the sanity of my parents more in the last 2 years than ever before. Especially when they cracked the 70 year line and decided to move to Fort Wayne IN, a place they haven't lived in since the '60s because it was cheaper there. But so far, it's worked out.

Speaking of which, it reminds me that I have to replace the plastic cover on the drive belt on my lawnmower- it fell off when I was mowing last week and of course I mowed it into a hundred pieces.



My parents aren't moving, if they do I'll know something is seriously wrong. They built their dream home and won't move without an act of God guiding their way. Even though my dad would rather live up here. Ah well. They are ok while Grandma is keeping an eye on them.

If it stops raining I think at least half the yard is dry enough to mow. The back where the water is pooling, not so much.

___________________________________________________________________
Paper Napkins on the Edge of Insanity

You can call me Goddess, that's fine.

FenStar


quality posts: 16 Private Messages FenStar
KtCallista wrote:....because all the other options are illegal.



Well, some people just pop em in an old folks home asap an forget about them.

I am not against putting people in an assisted living facility, just that if a different situation that would be better for them could be arranged without causing unreasonable difficulty for the children. As in if once a month you parent needs help moving the sofa to get something that dropped behind it, you could probably find some way to work that out other than a nursing home. Of course some people are quite happy in homes, and many of them plan daily events to keep them active, so for some, even if they are in good shape, this may be desirable.

Still single, can't imagine why.

FenStar


quality posts: 16 Private Messages FenStar
KtCallista wrote:My parents aren't moving, ...



Oh dear, that is something I try my best not to even think about, with either my parents or my grandmother. Every time that gets mentioned I cover my ears and humm. Neither of them will ever move, but the discussions exert enough stress to make me want to.

Still single, can't imagine why.

FenStar


quality posts: 16 Private Messages FenStar

And heaven forbid, if you try to get my grandmother to spend money you are just asking for trouble. There is no way she could ever spend all her money even if she lived another 50 years, but you would think she was going to starve to death if you tried to get her to buy a new sofa what she has been complaining about her old one for the last 10 years. Well, unless you are some strange person she met on the street, then she tells you were she lives ant that she has millions of dollars.

Still single, can't imagine why.

dontwantaname


quality posts: 13 Private Messages dontwantaname

Volunteer Moderator

FenStar wrote:And heaven forbid, if you try to get my grandmother to spend money you are just asking for trouble. There is no way she could ever spend all her money even if she lived another 50 years, but you would think she was going to starve to death if you tried to get her to buy a new sofa what she has been complaining about her old one for the last 10 years. Well, unless you are some strange person she met on the street, then she tells you were she lives ant that she has millions of dollars.



According to my mom, people who grew up durning the depression went one of two ways.
Either they saved every penny.
Or every time they got some money, they spent it.

She was the first.
My step dad was the second.

My dad didn't care, as long as he had his ham radio.

WE LURV YOU TOO! Dork!!!
No greater love is lost than that not shared.

Lurker256


quality posts: 0 Private Messages Lurker256
dontwantaname wrote:According to my mom, people who grew up durning the depression went one of two ways.
Either they saved every penny.
Or every time they got some money, they spent it.

She was the first.
My step dad was the second.

My dad didn't care, as long as he had his ham radio.



i like ham.

KtCallista


quality posts: 33 Private Messages KtCallista
dontwantaname wrote:According to my mom, people who grew up durning the depression went one of two ways.
Either they saved every penny.
Or every time they got some money, they spent it.

She was the first.
My step dad was the second.

My dad didn't care, as long as he had his ham radio.



My grandma is the save kind. She's been backing off a bit on the purse lately, and she did save up until she had her perfect-for-her-acreage-with-no-animals house. Of course my grandma is a financial genius. She was just born in the wrong century. If she were my age or younger she'd be CEO by 30 and never have looked back. Back then though, it just wasn't done by women.

I did not inherit that, no I got the stupid hoarder part that all the rest of my family had. If it ain't broke to the point where you can't fix it, don't throw it out you might need it. I'm really trying to change.

Except I just unplugged my internet while shredding paper again... Oh well back now.

___________________________________________________________________
Paper Napkins on the Edge of Insanity

You can call me Goddess, that's fine.

FenStar


quality posts: 16 Private Messages FenStar

Well, I realize I have only myself to to blame, but I just got back from the store, where upon considering weather I could just skip dinner I realized that all I have had today is about 30g of chocolate with hazelnuts and perhaps half a gallon of skim milk.

Still single, can't imagine why.

KtCallista


quality posts: 33 Private Messages KtCallista
FenStar wrote:Well, I realize I have only myself to to blame, but I just got back from the store, where upon considering weather I could just skip dinner I realized that all I have had today is about 30g of chocolate with hazelnuts and perhaps half a gallon of skim milk.



Fen, you are getting dangerously close to needing an intervention. I'd suggest an app to track your calories. You need to make sure you are getting enough.

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Paper Napkins on the Edge of Insanity

You can call me Goddess, that's fine.

dontwantaname


quality posts: 13 Private Messages dontwantaname

Volunteer Moderator

FenStar wrote:I know it could be worse, and really that is what bothers me, they are only going to get worse.



//smack

Aren't your parents my age?

If we meet, and I smack you, this is why.

WE LURV YOU TOO! Dork!!!
No greater love is lost than that not shared.

dontwantaname


quality posts: 13 Private Messages dontwantaname

Volunteer Moderator

FenStar wrote:I know I don't have serious problems, but if I'm not allowed to whine a little bit on PWA, then I'm not sure what this thread is for.



Whining is allowed.
But so is smacking!

WE LURV YOU TOO! Dork!!!
No greater love is lost than that not shared.

dontwantaname


quality posts: 13 Private Messages dontwantaname

Volunteer Moderator

Josephus wrote:Fen's just living with and expressing the frustration of having aging parents. A lot of us go through it, I have a great deal of empathy about it. My mother is in pretty late Alzheimer's now, and I frankly don't know how my dad has held up for so long. It sucks big time; it's been a couple of years since she's known who he is. That may not happen with your parents, Fen, I hope not. Normal aging also produces the kind of things you're talking about, and it is also frustrating.




HIS PARENTS ARE ONLY IN THEIR 50'S!


I think. I bet no more than 60's

WE LURV YOU TOO! Dork!!!
No greater love is lost than that not shared.

dontwantaname


quality posts: 13 Private Messages dontwantaname

Volunteer Moderator

FenStar wrote:Right and I'm not trying to say woe is me or anything, my parents are in quite good health, and if their parents are any indication, they will live long and healthy lives. Everyone in my family is a little dippy to begin with.



We noticed.

WE LURV YOU TOO! Dork!!!
No greater love is lost than that not shared.

dontwantaname


quality posts: 13 Private Messages dontwantaname

Volunteer Moderator

Lurker256 wrote:i like ham.



Would you like a roll and some cheese with that?



WE LURV YOU TOO! Dork!!!
No greater love is lost than that not shared.

dontwantaname


quality posts: 13 Private Messages dontwantaname

Volunteer Moderator

Done.

Maybe see you tomorrow.

WE LURV YOU TOO! Dork!!!
No greater love is lost than that not shared.

KtCallista


quality posts: 33 Private Messages KtCallista
dontwantaname wrote:Done.

Maybe see you tomorrow.



Leaving already dname?

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Paper Napkins on the Edge of Insanity

You can call me Goddess, that's fine.

FenStar


quality posts: 16 Private Messages FenStar
KtCallista wrote:Fen, you are getting dangerously close to needing an intervention. I'd suggest an app to track your calories. You need to make sure you are getting enough.



I'll be fine in a few days, my schedule is just all out of wack.

Still single, can't imagine why.

FenStar


quality posts: 16 Private Messages FenStar
dontwantaname wrote:HIS PARENTS ARE ONLY IN THEIR 50'S!


I think. I bet no more than 60's



My mom is about your age.

Still single, can't imagine why.

dontwantaname


quality posts: 13 Private Messages dontwantaname

Volunteer Moderator

FenStar wrote:My mom is about your age.



Two smacks when we meet!



WE LURV YOU TOO! Dork!!!
No greater love is lost than that not shared.

SkekTek


quality posts: 17 Private Messages SkekTek

Night all.

have fun with the wootoff. I predict a bucket of chicken about 1 minute before I wake up tomorrow at 7 AM... just so you can get ready.

pooflady


quality posts: 20 Private Messages pooflady
FenStar wrote:My mom is about your age.



Just home from card club. I think you may be making mountains out of mole hills. I've seen this. Everybody forgets things and makes mistakes, but when they're your parents it's like "uh-oh, is this dementia?" Probably not. I forget things more and more, but I've got a kid and his spouse that forget a lot more than I do. We tend not to look at our own mistakes in the same light.



When I was a kid I wanted to be older, this CRAP is NOT what I expected.

KtCallista


quality posts: 33 Private Messages KtCallista
pooflady wrote:Just home from card club. I think you may be making mountains out of mole hills. I've seen this. Everybody forgets things and makes mistakes, but when they're your parents it's like "uh-oh, is this dementia?" Probably not. I forget things more and more, but I've got a kid and his spouse that forget a lot more than I do. We tend not to look at our own mistakes in the same light.



I didn't spot my dad's early dementia signs, a friend did. She was super concerned, but I told my mom and we are all just trying to watch him for now. I am really not looking forward to it being my turn. I dearly hope they know more about it and maybe have a treatment if not a cure by then.

___________________________________________________________________
Paper Napkins on the Edge of Insanity

You can call me Goddess, that's fine.